Seph:We both know you don’t mean that. You’re desperate to see your favourite son.
Marie:But he’s in Africa, so you’ll have to do.
Killian:I have news.
I waitedfor the rest of the family to make their comments, having a good idea what the news was going to be.
Payton:Claire’s revealed that she’s actually an alien and not human.
Ava:You’re buying a house in Hawaii that you need me to renovate.
Maxwell:Eliza was a product of an immaculate conception.
Killian:Have you met your sister, Max, and seen the state of me recently? I couldn’t walk for two days.
Jackson:You do realise we have the resources to kill you?
Killian:You do realise I have a security firm. And Claire, who’s been trying to murder all of you for years.
Callum:Cut to the chase and tell us the due date.
Killian:We’re expecting a second baby. Due in seven months. If it’s a girl, I’m building that school in the middle of Dartmouth where there’s no phone reception or internet.
Jackson:If our next is a girl, I’ll contribute. How come this has been announced a) by you and b) via message?
Marie:Do we need a celebratory dinner on Sunday?
Killian:She’s currently throwing up and has been for three days straight or so it seems. There’s a chance I’m getting her in hospital at some point to be checked out as this isn’t pretty, so we’re passing on Sunday lunch. Hence it’s me and I’m telling you now. However, Eliza is more than welcome to attend and stay with her grandparents for a few days…
Marie:I’ll come over later and get her. Pack her a bag for five nights and then we can see how we go.
Killian:Thanks Nana Marie.
Jackson: Do you want Teddy too?
Marie:Nope. He doesn’t sleep yet. Give him Seph. That’s where revenge needs to take place.
Seph:He slept when I babysat!
Jackson:He was that bored there was no other choice. Actually, can you have him tomorrow for an evening so we can go out? You can stay here after. Simone’s asked us to go out with her and Jack.
Seph:Anytime.
And then I was homesick.
I’d travelled the world, spent months at a time away from home, living like a nomad and never once wishing to be back in London, needing space from my family and father of thousands of miles.
Something had changed. Maybe it was the tides, maybe it was global warming, maybe it was becoming an uncle; I now missed being at home. Even Seph with his endless bounce and enthusiasm until he had a bad day and told us all about it; Claire with her endless sarcasm and fight; Ava and her new life with a man who might be good enough for her. I missed them all.
Maybe even my father.
Callum:You’re trusting Seph with you first born? Have you had your brain extracted?
Seph:I’m the babysitter of choice.
Callum:There are many explanations for that. How is everyone?
Marie:Dad’s had a check up but his levels are fine and he’s lost another half a stone. However, several whisky distilleries have declared bankruptcy…
