Callum
We walked by the river, watching the seagulls and pigeons. I had my hands in my pockets fighting not to touch her as we talked about Jonah, or as Wren talked about Jonah.
“I feel bad for not wanting to see him.”
I stopped, the sound of the river lapping clear in the quiet evening, the muddy waters of the Thames swirling nearby.
“You don’t have to. This is the first time he’s contacted either of us since then. He’s seen us on the internet and he’s curious. Send him an email back or I will and leave it at that.” I had no desire to meet Jonah, or for Wren to. He was a part of our past, a big part granted, but I didn’t see what resurrecting what was left of our friendship would do other than cause pain. For all of us.
“I thought that. But shouldn’t you want to keep in touch with people who you had such an attachment to?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a rule anywhere. How many people are you still in touch with from uni?” I knew the answer to this. One. Me. Wren didn’t hold onto baggage that she wasn’t fond of. That was why the total of all her possessions could fit into two suitcases: she travelled light.
“Just you.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because people move on.” She sat down on a bench facing the river. “You lose what you had in common. But Jonah was my first.”
“Probably should’ve been me.” I half-muttered it.
She laughed. “You weren’t interested.”
“How did you know that?”
“Because you practically sat me in Jonah’s lap.”
“You liked him. I wanted to help.” Not something I would do again.
“I didn’t think you’d be interested in a geek like I was then. I thought you were out of my league. Besides, I didn’t want to lose my virginity to someone who wouldn’t want to be there in the morning.” She gave me a death look.
I laughed. “I didn’t think I was good enough for you. But this doesn’t matter. We’re here now. If you want to see Jonah that’s up to you. I don’t. I don’t think I’d have anything to say.” That was it. I didn’t know what I’d talk to him about apart from something inane like different brands of worming tablets.
“Why do you think he emailed?”
I shrugged and put my arm around her shoulders. It was the first time we’d properly touched since we’d left for the final part of shooting. “Curiosity. Or maybe he was drunk. The same reason people look up their old friends from school – they just want to know.”
She settled into my arms, her hands tucking under my t-shirt. “This feels weird because it doesn’t feel weird. And I know that doesn’t make sense. It should feel strange between us and it doesn’t.”
“I’ve given up analyzing it. I’ve stopped trying to over think things and just take them as they are. Like my father.” He’d been supportive. Not saying yes to everything, but he’d encouraged me the same way I’d seen him do with my brothers and sisters. He’d asked about Wren a lot too and I knew he and Marie were looking forward to meeting her. I also knew I needed to give her some warning about what my family were like and how she might need to get another prescription of sedatives.
“Probably for the best. I’m tired. The travelling’s catching up with me.”
“Let’s head back. Seph’s going to be there.” My brother didn’t have babysitting duties or a date but he had promised to keep out of our way.
I held Wren’s hand as we walked back along the Thames, the same sounds that I’d almost missed echoing about the place. London could be a perfect cage sometimes. It could soothe and excite, a talented lover, but it was one I’d grown tired of. Here wasn’t the place for me to start to grow roots. I needed space and fresh air, a chance to see the stars. A chance to build a life with the woman whose soft hand was enclosed in mine. The first girl I’d loved. The first person who had made me want to stop being a lost boy.
“You’re lucky.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because of what you have and I don’t mean money. Your siblings. Parents.”
“I know.” This time I did. “I don’t think I’d swap any of them. Maybe Max when he’s in a bad mood, but since he’s had Vic he’s been less grumpy.”
“Regular sex does that to you. Mellows you out.”
We carried on talking about nothing and everything until we reached my apartment. I kissed her in the lift, slowly, taking my time to taste her. Her arms wrapped around me, her body fitting against mine like it had been molded just for that purpose.
