“Your gut? I don’t think you can. I think it’s a leap of faith and knowing that person. This about Callum?”
“Kind of.” I gave her a brief overview of Jonah. We’d grown close in the last couple of weeks. She’d told me about the baby and its father, who wasn’t going to be in the picture. He couldn’t, even though he wanted to. I was sad for her, but she was so damn happy about the baby at the same time. “What if Callum changes? It’s like he’s only just become this person. How long does it last for?”
“Maybe you’re wrong and this is who he’s always been, he’s just never let himself before now.” She shrugged. “What do you have to lose if things go wrong?”
“The person who was my best friend. I’m back to square one with work, where I live, everything.”
“So you’d be back where you were before this, when you had no idea what you wanted anyway. Do you want Callum?”
I nodded. “This time away is painful.”
“I know. But that tells you something. You can have him. Don’t turn this down because you’re scared, Wren. The worst thing is you get your heart broken and it will mend.” She smiled, her hand resting on her non-existent bump.
“Jonah. What do I tell him?”
“Tell Callum first. See what he wants to do. He might want to meet him if they were good friends too.”
I nodded and unlocked my phone, going straight to Callum’s last email.
FROM:[email protected]
RE: 3 more days
DATE: 11 June
It’s now onlytwo more days. I really want to be at Roselea as well, so make sure I’ve got somewhere to sleep. I’ll see about going back to the zoo on a temporary contract while everything gets set up.
I had an email from Jonah today. He’s seen us on social media and he wanted to see how we were. He mentioned meeting up. How do you feel about that?
Good news – it’s morning and Jaime hasn’t been sick yet. I’m yet to eat anything. I’m cool with going to your parents that weekend, it’ll be good to meet them.
I miss you. I’ll forward you Jonah’s email.
Love, Wren
It would’ve been soeasy to put I love you.
* * *
I readJonah’s email a dozen more times, looked him up on social media and wondered about him. He’d been my first and my last, the only boy I’d loved until now. But I hadn’t been the only person he’d loved. He’d loved Callum too.
We finished filming with a whimper rather than a bang, the energy the crew had in Africa zapped by the halving of the team. All of us wanted to be elsewhere and when we finally sat on the plane to return to London the atmosphere was one of relief rather than party.
I hadn’t heard from Callum for two days. Since I’d forwarded Jonah’s email there hadn’t been any communication. I knew it was probably something to do with technology or reception, but I couldn’t help think that the ghost from our past had thrown shards of glass across our way forward.
The sedatives I had to help me with the flight knocked me out, inducing an odd sleep where I saw faces I recognised but didn’t know and I felt continually anxious. It was a bad landing, the plane bumping down the runaway as we found ground and I gripped Jaime’s hand hard, wishing it was Callum’s. Hoping that he’d be there for me, or at least there would be a message from him to say he’d landed safely and I should meet him at his apartment.
There was no one there in arrivals to meet me. My phone didn’t vibrate with a message from Callum or an email. I collected my luggage and found a taxi, giving the driver my mother’s address, closing my eyes in the back as I clutched my phone and willed it to ring.
“You look thinner, Serendipity.” My mother did not know how to make someone feel better. She never had.
“India didn’t agree with my stomach.”
She smiled, assessing the rest of me. “You look like you lost your tan there too. Are you staying here tonight?”
“If that’s okay.” My mother looked well. She was walking and moving in a manner that made me think she was pain-free. This was what I needed. Her MS wouldn’t worsen much more, she was lucky in that it could be managed, but I still felt responsible.
