“It is. And I know how close I came to losing everything.” Sitting in that room, hearing the explosion and not knowing how she was going to get out couldn’t even be described as being scary, it was ten levels above that, with several come-to-Jesus moments included.
“But you didn’t.”
“Exactly. I’m avoiding such situations in future.”
“Ray, those situations will still find you.”
“In which case, I’m making sure I have my phone with me at all times so I don’t act by myself.” She’d gone through the this in her head a million times over the last few days while she’d been in the hospital bed, cognizant but unable to be active. “I was careless, Jake. And I heard what happened to the manor after we got out.”
It had pretty much collapsed. She’d seen some pictures online, taken the morning after the fire had been put out. What was left was a blackened shell. The outbuildings were intact and eventually the church members would be able to return there, if they chose, but the manor was gone. Potentially the church was too, given that it was surrounded by speculation that it was a front for a group of criminals, although there were members who were completely innocent. It was those Rayah felt most for; the members who were seeking a simpler life.
“It’s easy to be careless when you’ve just had yourself to think about.” Jake sat down on the edge of the bed. “You could always be headstrong and wilful because you had us to rescue you. But it’s different when you realised the hole you’d create in people’s lives if you weren’t there.”
“I know. Jonny’s avoiding me.”
Jake shook his head. “He really isn’t. I think he’s just trying to give you space.”
“I don’t want space, Jake. I want him.” She hadn’t cried in front of her brother for years but she was on the verge.
He grinned, the teasing smile she remembered from when they were children. “Crying over a boy, Rayah. That’s just pathetic…”
“Fuck off.” She shot him the bird to reinforce her sentiment. “Seriously, Jake. He wasn’t mad at me, even though I’d done the thing that was causing him to rethink whether we had a future. He went into get me even though he wasn’t on shift. He’s been a couple of times and brought me presents but he hasn’t stayed or said very much… I don’t know what to make of it. I’m scared that this is it and I don’t want it to be it.”
“That means you want to take on not just him but his kids too, Ray. That’s a huge commitment.” Jake was now serious, which worried her even more.
“That’s fine. I love them. You know that. I’ve spent loads of time with them over the years. I knew when we started sleeping together that his kids were part of the package.” She hadn’t seen Sadie Grace and Harry, although Charlie had been in once to visit.
“Does he want more kids?”
She nodded. “I think so. We kind of talked about it.” She lay back and brushed down the new set of pyjamas that Jonny had brought for her. “He’s such a good dad.”
Jake gave her a knowing smile. “I’m guessing I’ll be an uncle in around eighteen months then.”
She shook her head and shrugged. “I don’t know. I can’t read him.”
Jake said nothing, simply watching her. “I’ve known Jonny a long time and I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I also heard him tell the world he loved you.”
That made her grin. “He lost.”
“Say what?” Jake frowned.
“We had a bet. Whoever gave it away that we were seeing each other has to do whatever the other person requests. So he has to do what I want.”
“What would that be? Or do I not want to know?” He covered his eyes.
“I’m not sure. I’m not sure if the bet is still on.” She picked at her nails. “What’s happened with the investigation? Has Alex said?”
Alex was someone else she hadn’t seen much of. He’d been missing in action since the night of the fire, pretty much. Busy. And she wasn’t sure they knew the half of it.
“Not much more than what’s been reported in the press. He said this morning when he came round for breakfast at the hotel that they’ve arrested both men who assaulted you for that, arson and on suspicion of murder.” Jake shrugged. “The man who was dead was shot but they’ve not identified him yet. Or rather his identity hasn’t been released.”
“What about the man who was tied up?”
“A member of the church apparently. He suggested that it was money orientated. He’s also said, according to Al, that the man who was shot was someone they had taken in as he was homeless. I don’t think Alex’s is buying that.”
Rayah nodded. “Are the two men arrested gang affiliated?”
Jake gestured upwards with his hands. “The media are speculating that they are but the police are playing it down. That includes Alex, and I think he knows far more than he’s letting on.”
