“Keren!”
“Oh give over, Rayah. The only reason you never asked me about the size of Scott’s was because he’s your cousin and it would be weird. Every other bloke you’ve practically had me make a Plasticine model of.”
Rayah giggled. It was a fair point. “He’s big. The biggest I’ve been with. And he knows what to do with it. He’s a bit on the dominant side.” She did not want detail, but figured that Keren could identify with this.
“Always a plus after a hard day. Why’s it such a secret?”
Rayah paused, opening her curtains to see if Jonny was pulling up outside. “I don’t know. It just kind of happened over Christmas and it’s carried on. We didn’t want people to know as they’d expect something serious, I suppose.”
“Ray, it’s March. We’re almost three months off Christmas. That isn’t just some dirty little secret; that’s a full-on affair. It makes sense now – you’ve been spending so much time there even when he’s not been at work.”
Rayah heard noise again; a baby gurgling in the background.
“How long are you going to keep quiet about it?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think he’s serious. I’m just his friend, I think, who he happens to fuck.”
“Nah. This is Jonny. The man who’s had a series of very well carried out hook ups for the last five years, all perfectly executed with women who understand there’s nothing further than a hot night in a hotel room. I can pretty much categorically confirm that he’s never had anything approaching even a meal with another woman who wasn’t a friend or a colleague since Grace died.”
“I’m a friend.”
“You are. He’s also seeing you naked on a regular basis and making you come. I hope. And that takes you out of the friend zone. What’s bugging you, Ray?”
“You know how I feel.”
“So put it out there. If he’s not wanting to get more serious then he’ll tell you and you have to move on. If he’s not wanting to remarry and have more children you know what you need to do.”
“Maybe more children isn’t a deal breaker.”
“Maybe. This is a longer conversation and one for when I’ve got a gin and tonic in my hand. Look, Jonny is the world’s nicest man. He’s fucking gorgeous, intelligent and gives off those fuck-me-into-oblivion vibes. But you need to be straight with him, Ray.”
“I don’t know if I can be.”
“What do you mean? You’ve never not been straight with anyone.”
Rayah saw Jonny’s car pull up outside her house, his parking precise, careful. “Because if he isn’t on the same page as me, then we end and I don’t want it to end right now. I like what we have. I need to go. He’s here to pick me up. Please don’t say anything.”
“You know I won’t. We’ll talk more when you’re back. Have a good time and remember baths are great for sore muscles.”
Rayah said her goodbyes and slipped her phone in her bag, picking up her case and heading to the door. When she opened it, Jonny was already there, hair damp from his shower but his scruff was untouched. He reminded her for a moment of when he was in his late teens and she’d seen him going out for an evening with Jake, the same look in his eye as back then.
Rayah’s heart collided with her stomach, the impact forcing the air out of her lungs. She remembered being sixteen and on her way to a house party. Jonny had been standing outside, clean shaven and completely past that awkward stage of adolescence as he approached twenty. He’d smiled at her as she’d walked by, the battered leather jacket he favoured clinging to shoulders that had broadened significantly. For the first time, Rayah had been lost for words but didn’t know why.
Now she knew.
“Sorry I took so long. I spoke to Sadie before she went to sleep. I think she’s currently the world’s most excited little girl.” He lifted up her case and frowned. “This doesn’t feel heavy. Do you have another case as well?”
Rayah shook her head. “No just that one.”
“It’s light.” He sounded surprised.
“I’m not intending on having to wear very much.”
He stood up, his grin dirty. “I can live with that. You ready to go?”
“Just about.”
They were onlya half hour drive from their destination, a boutique hotel on the other side of the Peaks that was in the middle of nowhere. Originally, they’d decided on stowing away to Leeds, having a city break, but when they’d talked about it they’d both agreed that they didn’t want the distractions. The plan was to do one thing – each other.
