Because it was.
Gabe
I’d taken my sketchbook to the beach, along with a thick coat and a flask of coffee. Summer had long since gone and although I missed the warm days, and nights in the barn, I enjoyed the change in seasons.
Anya texted me a few hours ago to say she had a couple of errands to run and she’d call me when she was back. I was nervous, wondering how our first meeting in a couple of months would go, whether we’d look at each other and realise the chemistry had been erased like the light of summer, or whether we’d still be in existence.
I perched on a rock, using just a soft pencil to shade the seascape in front of me, the land in the distance separated from the island by the sea. A lone boat hovered on the horizon, just a silhouette and I thought about who was possibly on it. I hadn’t helped out for a while; there were fewer people on holiday and the demand for trips around Puffin island or fishing for the day was lower than in the high season. I missed being on the sea. I’d gone out a few times, just for the hell of it, and the waves and the sounds of the water had given me respite when I’d needed it, sometimes after driving, sometimes when I’d finished a design or an alteration and I missed being able to call Ryan and talk it through with him.
The sea tumbled and rolled, far wilder than it had been in summer. The group of Sunday morning sea swimmers were still heading out – fuck knew where their sense was – but I suspected they were wearing their winter wetsuits. At least I hoped they were.
I shaded the sea, the mountains in the distance, across the water, the lonely boat paler than the sea and sky around it. Losing myself in my art was something I thought was unhealthy before, a denial of what had happened and a way to escape reality. It had only been when I hadn’t painted or drawn for a few days that I realised that it levelled me, it was how I deconstructed the maelstrom of feelings that would cloud me like a storm and make sense of the world around me.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
I looked up from being lost in the shades of sea into the loveliest pair of eyes I’d ever seen.
Anya’s smile was all I needed and she pulled me to her without even touching me. Any space between us was covered and she was in my arms, burying her head in my shoulder and her grip tightening around me.
She was back and I had no intention of letting her go again. I wasn’t fixed; I didn’t believe any of us ever could be, but I didn’t need her to be my crutch. Her hair smelled of fruit and freshness, her touch light and demanding at the same time.
“I’ve missed you so much.”
I heard the words even though she was burrowed into me, her legs wrapped around my middle.
“I’ve missed you. Have you done what you need to?”
She moved her head back and I saw that her eyes were filled with tears, some falling.
“Everything for now. Unpacked what I could, saw Kim and the kids, showered.” She choked her words.
I placed her down on the sand and sat down on the rocks, lifting her onto my lap where she curled into me.
“You’re upset.” I wiped the tears away from her face with my thumb. “Why are you upset?”
She shook her head. “I’m not. I’m just glad to see you. I didn’t realise how glad I’d be and I’m… so happy to be back.” Her eyes fixed on my sketchpad. “That’s really good.”
“Thanks. Something to do while I was passing the time waiting to see you.”
“You’re glad I’m back?”
I laughed, not quite sure how she didn’t realise just how much. “Like you wouldn’t believe.” My hand remained on her cheek, then stroked into her hair. I didn’t dare kiss her. It was too cold to take this any further and as soon as I felt her lips on mine, I’d want more.
I’d want everything.
“Are we giving this a real go? I know that seems like a strange question because I haven’t seen you for months and there’s loads I suppose we have to catch up on…”
I pressed a finger to her lips. “We have as long as we want. When do you start your new job?”
“After Christmas. I have a few weeks to sort my things. Look for somewhere to rent.”
“Not the guesthouse?”
She gave a little laugh. “It’s fine until when I go back to work. But if I’m there while I’m at school, my time will end up being spent on babysitting or helping Nan out when I need to be working or doing other stuff. My family wouldn’t quite realise that I have a job to do.”
“I get that.” A cold gust of wind pierced my skin and smattered sand over us. Night was rolling in, the sky devoid of any colour other than grey. “Do you want to come back to mine and see my paintings?”
She laughed, her eyes not leaving mine. “Anytime. And I’d like to see your house. How far done is it?”
