Catrin wasat the bar by herself when I got there. She had a pint of beer in front of her and was staring at it as if she was about to turn the drink into liquid gold.
“What’s up?” I rarely asked anyone that question because I figured if they wanted to tell me they would without me prompting them. Cat was different. She’d mull over something until you took off the lid and left her to overshare.
“Nothing. I don’t know. It’s weird.”
I raised my brows then gave the bartender a nod for a beer. “What’s weird?”
“I feel wonky.”
“That’s your normal state, isn’t it?”
“Fuck off.”
I laughed. Irritating her had become a sport. “Missing being at sea?”
She shrugged. “Anders has gone back home for a week to see his gran.”
“And you’re missing him?”
She shook her head. “He’s a booty call. Why would I miss him?”
“Because you’ve spent most of the year glued next to him. And proposed?”
She tapped her glass. “Have you heard from Anya?”
“A few times today. Swift change of subject.”
“I’m good at those. Just need to work on their smoothness. She’s applied for a job in Bangor. An assistant head teacher position. She said I could tell you.”
I wondered why she hadn’t told me herself. For a second I felt annoyed, maybe hurt that she hadn’t told me, but our messages weren’t anything life changing.
“That’s good. It feels quiet without her.”
Cat’s head twisted to stare at me quick enough to give her whiplash. “It feels quiet without her? Are youinsane, Gabriel? I’d have thought you’d have been doing cartwheels at the idea of her being back so you can spend every evening and weekend fucking like rabid bunnies?”
It had been too long since I’d been inside her. My hand had become too accustomed to soap and the shower and thoughts of Anya. Cat’s comment made me ache. I wanted my good little school teacher back in my bed with her legs spread wide.
“Fucking too right. But she needs to apply for this job because it’s for her, not for me.”
I felt Cat’s glare. “Does that mean you’re not interested in her?”
I looked away. “You know that’s not the case. But I can’t be the reason why she comes back home. Just like she can’t be the sole reason I’m trying to sort my life out.”
I felt Cat’s eyes on me before I met them with my own. Her expression was softer, not as accusing as it had been.
“I do get it. And it’s probably healthier. Just you seemed to make each other happy over summer.”
“Summer romance.” I accepted the drink passed to me.
She shook her head. “Me and Anders were meant to be a work’ fling. I think it’s gone on a bit too long for that. How often do you hear from Anya?”
“A few times a day. Just messages. We haven’t spoken at all.” I didn’t want to speak to her over the phone; that would make not having her there to hold ten times worse.
“Surprise her. Pay her a visit.” Cat’s tone was challenging. I’d told her about the therapist I was seeing, and about travelling.
“I have to to go to London next month.”
“Why not arrange to meet up?”
