I rested my chin on her shoulder and listened to her breathing. She was tucked into me, having listened without commenting or asking more questions. It was the first time I’d told anyone what had happened from the elation we’d felt at winning our awards through to opening my eyes with my heart thudding out of my ears and finding the world fractured into too many pieces to save.
“I was told it was quick. But they would say that, wouldn’t they?”
“Yes. They would. But I don’t think they were lying. Was it his scream you heard or your own?”
I opened my mouth to speak, wanting to say that it was his scream, but I didn’t know. He’d been asleep. The headlights coming towards us had been a blur, my reactions fast as I hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol, not even the champagne.
“I always thought it was his.”
“Gabe, I’m not a doctor or anywhere near a forensics person, but even if he had woken up when you swerved, would he have been awake and aware that quickly to scream?”
“We’ll never know.” It was the first time I’d thought about the noise coming from me and not him. The first time I had considered the chance that he’d never woken up and never knew what was happening. It could’ve been my scream. It could’ve been my imagination or the sound of the tyres or fuck knows what.
“We won’t. But that’s the hardest thing to accept, that there’s stuff we’ll never have the answers to.” She turned around, straddling me, her hands on my shoulders. My hands sat on her waist, pulling her closer.
“I miss this beach. When I’m in London or even at work and it’s play time and the kids are outside I’ll sometimes wish I was here, watching the waves, seeing the mountains.”
Her eyes were focused on me and not the surroundings. I raised a hand and moved her hair from her face.
“Especially after what happened to the boy in my class. I used to think about here and how peaceful it was and how happy I felt when I came home and then I felt guilty. I still feel guilty some days. But this, this beach, has been the same for thousands of years.”
“And it’s still amazing.”
She nodded. “It is.”
I wasn’t looking at the scenery either. I was looking at her, the light freckles that were dotted across her nose, hazel eyes, lips that didn’t need any more colour than what she woke up with.
“You can tell me what happened that night.” I didn’t want this to be all about me.
Anya shook her head. “Later. But not now. I don’t want to get into a game of whose story trumps the other. Besides, you need to check out if I kept my promise.”
I’d noticed the dress immediately when I’d seen her and my head had wandered to what she had on underneath it, if anything.
“We’re on a beach, in public.” Even though there was nobody near us, and I hadn’t seen anyone for hours, I kept my voice low.
“Public sex isn’t your kink then?”
I laughed, my hands now on her smooth legs, following them up under her dress to see if she really had gone without underwear. I paused and kissed her softly. “So you like to seduce starving artists on beaches with sandwiches and teases of no underwear.”
Her giggle was quiet and coy. “I get it right now your mind isn’t on what I’m not wearing.”
If Ryan was looking down on me right now, and knowing him he’d be trying to look under her dress, he’d be telling me to move my head the fuck away from that night and instead take care of business. If it had been him who had survived he would not be moping around; he’d be trying to live both our lives.
Which at some point would’ve given him a great excuse for several threesomes.
My eyes lifted to hers and my hands pushed up another few inches to find her naked underneath her dress and by then I was consumed by her, forgetting, needing to forget, about that night.
I removed one hand, letting the other explore the tops of her thighs and cupped her face with the other, bringing her mouth to mine. She was warm and soft, her responses reminding me of the sea with its wild calm, the ripple of its surface hiding what was always below.
My cock hardened as I shifted my hand to between her legs, finding the smooth silken flesh. I cupped her pussy, gently applying pressure to her clit and she spread her legs wider, her knees digging into the sand. Her hands went to my jeans, undoing the zipper and cupping my cock, pressing her hand tight against it.
My hand dropped from her face to her shoulders, pushing down the straps of her dress. She laughed as I fumbled it down, exposing bare breasts.
“No underwear at all?”
“No. Gives you easy access.” She was becoming wetter and I figured my sweet school teacher liked being an exhibitionist. We were well shielded. As turned on as I was, I did not want anyone else sharing the sight of her.
Her tits were more than a handful, her nipples large and dark, ripe for sucking but that would involve becoming a contortionist, so I settled for giving each a hard pinch. My head was firmly in the zone of getting inside her, feeling her tight cunt gripping my dick as it had done the other night. I pushed a finger inside her, slowly, needing to get her ready for me.
