“He seems to really like her.” I’d watched them last night, seeing how attentive he was without smothering her and how she responded to him. She’d been involved with him for almost as long as she’d been with anyone and I did wonder how serious she felt.
“He has his work cut out for him if he’s expecting any more than a summer fling. I’ve never known her commit.” I sipped at the hot tea Gabe had made, strong and unsweetened. Better than coffee.
“He’s a really good guy. Anders was one of the first people I met when I turned up here with my backpack. Although he did think I was a squatter at first.”
We hadn’t talked about him not having been in a car for more than two years. After his confession, we’d simply touched and kissed, like innocent teenagers who just happened to be naked and left the rest unsaid for now.
I understood. Prying and trying to get more from him wasn’t necessary. I got it. When he wanted to talk more about what happened, I could listen, but I wasn’t going to push. There would be enough people doing that already.
“What did he do?”
“Asked if I was okay and if I needed anything to eat. I mean…” He looked down to his chest that was more than well-defined and tatted. I’d licked them last night and asked him the reason behind every one.
“You don’t look underfed.”
“No, but I was a bit on the scruffy side. I’d been traveling for days and walked here from Bangor.”
“No bus?”
“Not then. The train was okay.”
“So what did Anders say?”
Gabe smiled at me, understanding that I was moving us off the subject of how he got around. “We went for a beer and talked football.”
After we’d eaten I explored the house, listening to Gabe talk technical about the rooms and beams and walls. His ideas weren’t concrete, but as he talked it through I could see that he was becoming more focused.
“You have the best house here. The views from both sides are amazing. You could really spec it out and make a fortune selling it to a family.”
He was quiet, the silence not even broken by the usual chorus of seagulls.
“This is where I want to be. As much as I can think about a future right now, this is all I see. The island is self-sufficient; I don’t have to leave. And I’m not here for the money. I don’t have to worry about money.”
“Compensation?”
He nodded. “But I’d rather be skint and have him alive still.”
Ryan. He’d mentioned his name once. And I hadn’t repeated it.
There was so much that we’d left unsaid. But we had the summer.
Just the summer.
* * *
I headed backto the guesthouse after lunch when I knew most of the tourists would be away from the paths and snickets I needed to take to get home. The walk of shame wasn’t a route I usually took, but if anyone had seen me wearing last night’s dress, fairly messy hair and sniffed me closely enough, they’d have known exactly what I’d been up to.
I was trying not to have any regrets.
Gulls swooped and dropped overhead, calling incessantly. I’d left Gabe about to start painting, his expression telling me he was already planning what he was going to be doing. He was at ease, moving around his barn like a big cat, a very satisfied, very big cat. I felt confused.
I’d never had a one-night stand. It hadn’t been in my nature to, because I’d always needed more of a connection to be able to share intimacy with someone. Gabe wasn’t just a one-night stand, I knew that too. But I was confused. I’d been reckless, focused solely on something that was just for me for the first time in more than just months. Work, school, what I should be doing, how I should be mourning, hadn’t crossed my mind.
It had just been Gabe.
And just what he’d done to my body. It had been how he’d managed to capture my mind as well.
I snuck into my room in the annex without being spotted and jumped straight in the shower, chucking the dress and Gabe’s T-shirt to one side. I’d managed to wash my face at some point when I’d cleaned up during the night, so I didn’t look like an extra out of a Halloween film, but I was definitely not fresh. My body had been well used; between my legs was nicely sore and I had a few bite marks, luckily in places that were easily covered and wouldn’t cause too many raised eyebrows.
