“It was something along the lines of saving up his ‘hot seed’ to fill her and make another baby. Jackson was half asleep when he read it. His reaction was enough to wake up Teddy. I get that it’s his sister and he doesn’t need details like that, but she’s married for fuck’s sake…”
“They’re trying for another baby?” I watched Killian bounce Eliza on his knee while Claire chatted to her, showing her a toy.
“Yep. No one’s surprised. What was disturbing was Victoria’s response in the group message when Max lost the plot and threatened to murder Killian.”
I laughed. Max was a man of extremes and although he managed to curb his behaviour most of the time, when something did irritate him, he could be amusing. Victoria had him tamed though. “What did she say?”
“Something along the lines of it being okay for him to describe in detail what he was going to do to her – she might’ve added some detail – but his sister wasn’t allowed the same pleasure from her husband. His response was something to do with putting her over his knee at which point Marie stepped in and referenced something no one wanted to know anything about so Jackson just brought up rugby.”
I’d heard Marie when she’d brought up conversations to do with her and her husband’s sex life, mainly on purpose to tease her children. She was Seph, Payton and Ava’s mother, step-mother to the rest and the glue that solidified them. I’d heard from her every day since I’d come home from hospital, even though she’d been ill herself, asking me about recipes, dinner parties, restaurants. Her way, I knew, of making sure I could focus on life after getting better. The world still turned. I still needed to be part of it.
“Jack’s been good.” Vanessa’s eyes combed over my face. “I never thought you’d let someone in like this.”
I opened my mouth to argue that then closed it. She was right. “I don’t know how it happened. Something just clicked.”
“That’s often how it happens. He’s a good man. He didn’t leave you when you were in hospital, I think the nurse had to force him to shower.”
“I know. I don’t know why he’s so into me.” I had restaurants, money, a big house but I was a workaholic, driven and I could be difficult.
“I thought the same about Jackson. I’m pretty sure Payton has moments when she wonders why Owen chose her. Same with Ava with Eli. And there are days when I wonder why I picked Jackson.” Her eyes glided over to where Teddy was giggling at something his father was doing.
“Why? He’s intelligent and gorgeous, amazing with your son and adores you. Why?”
“Because he can be an argumentative fucker who sometimes forgets that I can make decisions for myself and he’s completely anal when it comes to tidying. Which doesn’t combine well with a baby who will be a toddler soon.” Vanessa shrugged. “Jackson’s going to have a steep learning curve.”
“I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
“So will you. Don’t you think Jack’s going to wonder about why you’re with him? He doesn’t have your money or your empire. He’s got a teenaged daughter. People might assume that he’s interested for the step up you can give him which he’d probably shred them to pieces for thinking. You remember how he reacted when you half found out about his brother?”
I looked at Jack as he came back in the room, his attention first caught by Teddy who couldn’t take his eyes off him.
“Baby fever.” Vanessa sounded almost bored.
“I don’t have baby fever.”
“I can smell your ovaries exploding.”
“That’s a horrible image.”
“Stop deferring. You’ve done nothing but stare at the babies since you sat down.”
“I took a bang to the head. It’s not quite right yet.” Because I’d never thought about having kids before Jack and now it was almost all I could think about.
Jack was now sitting down near Teddy who was trying to shift towards him, taking to him and waving a toy. Vanessa was right. I couldn’t move my eyes away. My insides were twisting and yearning. This wasn’t me.
“It’s too soon to be thinking about things like this. We’ve only been dating for a few months.”
“And pretty much living together. And through a traumatic experience. Plus, you’re not the same age as Payton or Ava. If you do want a family, your time is limited to a certain extent.”
It was. I knew that and it hadn’t bothered me until now.
“I’m not sure that now’s the time to talk about it.” I remembered the conversation we’d had weeks ago about whether he’d have more children. It hadn’t been a no. He was standing now with Teddy in his arms, holding him to his chest while Jackson drank his coffee. Teddy looked tiny, dwarfed by Jack’s broad shoulders and height.
“Seriously, now is the time to talk about it. Might be not the time to do anything about it though, not with a concussion.”
That was a point.
Jack’s eyes met mine as Teddy tried to pull at his face, tiny hands and perfect fingers grabbing at Jack’s nose and lips. I knew Vanessa was watching me, smirking as if she knew things that I didn’t, but I didn’t quite care.
