“You don’t let things go, do you?”
She shook her head. “It’s the Jewish mother in me.”
“Mum, you’re New York Irish.”
“My grandmother on my father’s side was Jewish,” she said without missing a beat. “Talk.”
“He’s not back with his ex,” I said as a start. “I don’t think he’s been dating anyone since I started staying at Claire’s.”
“He hasn’t,” Callum’s voice woke up Queenie, her head turning at the speed of light to look at him. She was going to be my dog, but clearly Callum would always be her favourite.
“He hasn’t what?” I said, staring at my brother. He bent down and gave Queenie a treat.
“He hasn’t been seeing anyone else,” he said. “He’s fucking miserable without you, not that he’d say.”
“So how do you know he’s miserable without me if he hasn’t said?” I demanded, maybe a little too loudly.
Callum shrugged and stared at me. “Like knows like, doesn’t it.”
Our mother looked from one of us to the other. “Callum, you need to move on.”
“I can’t,” he said. “And I don’t want to talk about it, but I do have a few things I need to say to Ava.”
“Hit me with it.” My words were quiet as I wasn’t sure I was going to like everything he said.
“Eli misses you. He’s moping playing computer games, going to the pub, working and training like he’s preparing for a battle. He’s going through the motions until you make your mind up one way or another. But, Ava, you can’t just fuck him about with this ‘temporary’ shit you were both playing at.” He crouched down to rub Queenie behind her ears. “I get you’ve needed to sort your head out because what you went through was fucking traumatic, baby. We all got that you needed to pick yourself up onto your own two feet. And I’m not comparing what you went through to what we did – we weren’t the ones hurt or feeling like you didn’t own your own body for days afterwards. But we all went through something that night, especially Max and Elijah.”
I wiped the tears away from my face. Looking away from Callum was all I wanted to do but I couldn’t. His brown eyes held my gaze, forcing me to look beyond myself.
“Ava, we all love you. And when we thought about what happened and what could’ve happened or at the time when we trying to get to you, it was the fucking scariest thing. The worst case scenario has been running through my mind when I try to sleep for weeks and it has through Eli’s too.” He stood up and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the breakfast bar.
“I don’t want anyone to think I need looking after,” I said, almost spitting out the words. I hated this, hated people worrying like they always had because I was the youngest. I didn’t want to be reliant on anyone. But people were reliant on me.
“We know you don’t need it,” Callum said. “But we want to anyway. Just like you climbed up the maple tree when you were five and told us you could get yourself down and that you didn’t need any of us.”
“And you all stood around and watched me. I felt like a mouse being surrounded by a load of cats,” I said, remembering that afternoon.
“We knew you could do it. But we wanted to be there, just in case. And we’re all the same for every one of us. Payton when she was over working, Claire when she’s in the middle of a big case, Jackson when he lost his shit over Vanessa finishing with him. Max every time his secretary walks out,” Callum said, his voice quieter, as if he was being soothed by the presence of Queenie.
“What about Seph?” I said.
He laughed. “We have to be there for Seph. He can’t cope with doing up his shoelaces, let alone life.”
We both laughed and I saw Mum trying to keep a straight face.
“Eli…” I said, needing to know.
“Aves, he would’ve done more than punch that fucking eejit’s jaw if he’d had less self-control and if he’d gone up there and anything more had been done to you than what was already, he’d have ended up in jail. He misses you,” Callum said.
“Has he told you that?”
“When he was drunk last week. We talked. He also gets that you might not want anything more than temporary. You think it through. But remember, we know it’s been hard for you and we respect that, but it’s been hard for us in a different way,” Callum said, biting into the apple.
“I’ll get the soap and water ready,” Mum said, looking at Callum.
He frowned at her. “You’ve lost me.”
She shook her head. “The amount of cuss words that have just come out of your mouth is disgusting, Callum Callaghan!” She picked up a tea towel and whipped him with it.
