“Maybe this was how we planned it,” Killian said. “Did you ever consider that maybe your family had paid me a healthy sum to ensure no one with evil intentions could ever get to you?”
Killian was a braver man that most. Claire was brutal even when she was in a good mood.
“You seem to like to live dangerously,” she said. “I recommend you consider your words better in future as you never know what the ramifications of your comments will be. Now, please take my suitcase to my room and run the bath while I get a glass of something fizzy.”
Donal and Nick both looked like they were struggling to contain their laughter. I worked with Claire and had learned over the past couple of years to hide any amusement well else I’d be shredded and served on pancakes with hoisin sauce.
“I’d like to join you with the fizz,” Katie said, one hand on her belly and another holding a twin into her waist. “But because your brother-in-law to be knocked me up, I can’t.”
Nick rolled his eyes. “All day. All I’ve heard all day is how everything is my fault. You can’t have pate because of me. You can’t have blue cheese and mushrooms on toast, because of me. You can’t sleep on your side anymore, because of me. You have one stretch mark, because of me. Shall I continue? Or shall I remind you that this was your idea?”
“I was drunk. You should’ve kept your super sperm to yourself,” Katie said.
“You were drunk once. Not continuously for the other four weeks.” Nick shook his head.
“Super-perm,” one of the twins, I think it was Margot, looked up and said. “What super-perm?”
“It’s a really bad hairstyle, sweetie,” Katie said. “A bit like daddy’s.”
Nick shook his head. “For flip’s sake. I need a beer. And I’m not going to feel guilty that you can’t have one.”
Killian picked up his and Claire’s luggage, leaving the shop-full of baby stuff for Donal to carry behind.
“Do Claire and Katie ever gang up together on those two?” I said to Ava quietly.
“Only all the time they’re together. I think they consider it a sport. Let’s go find our room. I could do with a shower,” she said, her grin wicked. “Maybe you could help me get to the parts that are hard to reach?”
The town of Enniskerry was like something you’d see on a postcard or in a book about Ireland. It was all lush greens and quaint village feels, nothing like London. Ava’s reaction when we got out of the car was wide-eyed and stares everywhere, as if she was a city child who’d been taken into the countryside for the first time and seen a cow.
“It’s like something from a jigsaw,” she said. “I didn’t think places like this really existed.”
I shook my head. “Where do you think the artists the jigsaw companies use get their inspiration from?” I said. Ava was practical and quick minded. To see her like this was different.
“Fairy tales,” she said. “Or their imagination.”
We wandered round the village, looking at the houses, and then headed for Powerscourt Waterfall, Ireland’s highest waterfall where there was a playground for the twins as well as some more stunning scenery. Claire was still trying to goad Killian into an argument, while Katie and Nick were stuck together like limpets. Killian’s parents hadn’t come with us as other friends of theirs were stopping by to see Donal on his birthday.
“There are gardens to see as well,” Claire said, giving Killian a respite from her niggling. “If there’s a recently dug out bed, I might experiment with how hard I can hit someone with a spade and bury their body.”
“I’ll take you over my knee when we get back,” I heard Killian mutter.
“For fuck’s sake,” Ava said, the twins well out of the way on the swings with their dad. “Can you please stop with the verbal foreplay?”
Claire smiled. “You should be used to this. Our parents are only getting worse as they get older. I overheard Dad telling Mum exactly what to expect when she got home the other night. She had him on loud speaker while she was in the kitchen.”
Killian groaned. “Don’t. I’m already scarred from the last time we stayed.”
Ava laughed. “Should I ask why?”
Killian shook his head and sat down on a blanket Claire had spread out for Eliza. “You’re immune to the madness.” He glanced up at me. “But you deserve a warning. Grant left a pair of handcuffs and a blindfold in the kitchen.”
Ava burst out laughing, making Eliza’s eyes widen. “Are you sure he wasn’t just messing with you?”
Claire sat down too and started to open the cool box she’d brought containing lunch for Eliza. “No. I’m pretty sure he forgot where he’d left them. I was up with her when he came into the kitchen at about eleven that night to look for them. To be fair to him, he did look mortified when he saw me point to them.”
“Holy fuck,” Ava said. “We’re never staying there.” She turned to look at me. “We can never, ever stay there. You’ll realise just how weird and freaky my genetics are.”
For a moment her expression was so open and earnest I forgot that this was only temporary and instead saw something more, something that had forever written on it. I pushed it away to think about and consider later, when her sister and future brother-in-law weren’t watching us.
