I sat up straight and stared at my brother, then shook my head. “How do you know these things?”
“The same way you always do. It’s a different vibe you give off.”
“Last night and this morning.”
“I thought you were walking weird. I thought you didn’t want to get involved with anyone? Although saying that usually means you’ll meet someone great because you’re not looking.”
“I know. I really like him but I don’t want to get hurt. I’ve had enough of men who don’t live up to my expectations and I keep giving them chances thinking they’ll end up being great and they don’t,” I said, eating my way through another cracker. I hadn’t been to the gym in four days and I could feel the calories gathering on my hips and having a party.
“He’s the first friend of yours—and by friend I mean fuck buddy—that I like and even if he wasn’t hanging out with you, he would be with us. No one’s perfect, though, Payts. He will have his faults. I know you think Max is amazing, but Vic puts up with a hell of a lot of shit from him. He’s moody and obsessively tidy and really does snap when he can’t find the words he needs to say how he feels,” Seph said. “I keep out of their way and I am looking for somewhere else to live, but I do notice their relationship.”
“Is Vic happy?”
Seph smiled. “Crazily so. She doesn’t mind living with a huge grump and she sees straight through his moods. They make each other smile. I went downstairs last night to get a hot drink and they were in her snug: Max was sitting down and Vic was holding his head in to her belly with her hands in his hair. I think he was upset about Dad. I didn’t hang around to spy or anything, but they’re such a team and I never thought Max would have that.”
My eyes welled up. Our oldest brother was a workaholic, gruff and determined. He’d had plenty of relationships with women who had been besotted with him, but no one had ever captivated him enough to tear him away from his practice as a clinical negligence specialist until Victoria. Max had been our idol growing up: he would often look after us and was more of an uncle than big brother, especially because he was quite a bit older. He’d also looked after Claire and Callum after their mum died and before Dad married our mum, Marie.
“I’m so glad he has. He’s so much happier now he’s with Victoria.”
“Why did you sleep with Owen?”
Seph was the only one of my brothers who would ask that question. “Because I needed someone last night.”
“Was that fair? You know he likes you a lot. Have you led him on?”
“He was happy when I suggested we should be friends with benefits for the night. He just made sure we wouldn’t be awkward today,” I said, aware that I hadn’t replied to his last message.
“Has it been awkward? You know, he’s a good guy, Payts. I don’t want you to piss him off because you’ll be mortified if you do,” Seph said as his hot and sour soup was put in front of him.
I shook my head. “It’s not been awkward. We’ve spoken a couple of times…”
“What about?”
“What’s this? Seph the relationship guru?” He pulled his face at me. “Just how Dad was, what we were doing, nothing in particular.”
“So not the sort of conversation you’d have with Ava or one of your friends?”
He had a point. “No. Nothing like it.” Especially when I’d mentioned that I was sore today because of his cock. That led to an entirely different conversation.
“You’re not just friends then. You’re in a relationship.”
“No. We’ve said we’re friends and that I don’t want to get involved…”
“Fuck off, Payts. Just because you won’t label it as a relationship doesn’t mean it isn’t one. Are you going to sleep with him again?”
“When did these conversations about our sex lives stop becoming uncomfortable?”
“Probably about the time when we were sixteen and you were going out with Tom Gaffney and I was messing around with Lila Towers and I ran out of condoms that evening our parents were out with Ava and ran into your room,” Seph said, dipping a cracker into his soup. “There’s nothing like seeing your sister issuing very specific directions to your desperate to please teammate with both of them naked.”
I shrugged. “You should’ve knocked.”
“I didn’t know you were in your room. I had music on. Lila was loud. Back to Owen.”
“Why don’t I want to be in a relationship with him?”
“Because you’re scared you’re either going to get hurt or he’s not going to live up to your expectations. Or you don’t really like him like that. Can we eat?”
I nodded and we changed the topic of conversation to other things: friends, a date Seph had on Wednesday, Callum and his mysterious ways and Ava and how she was pretending to be single. I checked my phone when Seph went to the bathroom, responding to Owen’s message about not being able to put a book down by a new author he’d discovered. I responded by taking a selfie and it continued from there. Seph became increasingly irritated at the amount my phone vibrated, which only added to my amusement. I was going home to the bed I’d shared with Owen the night before, to sheets that needed washing and pillows that smelled of him and me combined. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel, sleeping by myself and I knew I needed to consider that maybe my brother was right: we weren’t just friends and maybe I could be happy with that.
