But now, with her own relationship having ended, I was seeing a side to her that I wasn’t sure had existed before. She was closed from me and anyone who asked about Dave. The openness that had defined her previously was now unavailable for that one topic.
“She was. She was two weeks late. I didn’t know until later but my sister hadn’t felt the baby move for a few hours, so her partner took her to the hospital and they performed an emergency c-section. I probably overreacted when I got the message but Owen was great. He just took me straight there and stayed, putting up with my mad family,” Payton said, her phone coming out to show pictures.
My mum waded through them, commenting on the change in the baby and Claire even over one day. More photos seemed to be added to Payton’s group chat constantly and her face beamed as she showed off her sister and niece.
“He grew up surrounded by small children and babies for most of the time. Do you remember the birth in Hebrides when you were twelve?” Mum said.
I stifled my wretch. It had almost been enough to put me off ever having sex if a baby could be the result. “Yeah, still trying to forget that, ma,” I said, giving her the title she hated most.
She shook her head. “One of the women on the island went into labour during a storm and there was no way to get her off the island to a hospital. I’d assisted at a few births before so I leant a hand and Owen was my gopher. He had a couple of nightmares afterwards.”
“It was the noise. No one prepares you for the noises. It was like something from a fucking science-fiction movie,” I muttered, trying desperately to put the memories back into the deepest recess of my brain. “If I’d ever needed counselling that would be the reason why.”
“It’ll be different when it’s your own. Plus, you’ll know what to do,” she said, practical as ever.
I stared at her. “Yes, Dot, I’m sure it will be useful, but as a twelve-year-old whose knowledge of female parts was limited to a couple of dirty mags that was possibly something that could’ve put me off everything ever.”
Payton was laughing quietly, watching me with interest. “He was fine yesterday,” she said. “He even held the baby.” She flicked through a few photos to the one she’d taken of me holding Elizabeth Rose and my mother’s mouth curved into a wide smile. I knew she wouldn’t make any embarrassing comments about wanting grandchildren as that wasn’t her: she swore that there was a time and a place for everything and rarely tried to force an idea.
“He’s good with kids,” she said. “Mainly because he’s still one himself. What are you planning to do with yourself for the rest of the day or is that a silly question given that you’re in a bookshop?”
Payton smiled, her focus on my mother rather than me which made me want to do something to get her attention, but I pretended I was an adult and stayed quiet, looking at the new couple of books I’d picked up. “I want to buy a couple of guides to London. I have a few days off work as my stupid brothers seem to think I need to take a break, so I’ve decided to be a tourist.”
“We have plenty of guides. How long have you lived here?” my mum said, her eyes narrowing with interest.
Payton shrugged. “We have a house in Oxfordshire and a town house here, so as kids we flipped between the two. I went to UCL for my degree, so I never really moved away, but I haven’t seen the sights since I was probably about twelve.”
My mum nodded. “We never pay much attention to what’s on our own doorstep. That was one of the reasons I liked to move around when Owen was younger: we’d get to a new place and we’d explore it properly. Since I’ve lived in London I can’t remember the last time I went to a museum or an exhibition, unless it was to visit friends who live in different cities.” She sighed. “I should make more of an effort, especially now I have more free time without Dave.”
“Maybe you should explore some different male sights too then,” I said, taking off my glasses. I had a very low prescription and didn’t need to wear them as much as I did, but I quite liked the geek look they gave me. “If things have properly ended with you and Dave and you’re wanting him to be clear on that, then why don’t you start dating again?”
My mother sat up straight, her hands sitting on her lap primly, something I knew my mother wasn’t. “I think that’s an excellent idea. Where do I start?”
Chapter Seven
Payton
Thursdays were usuallywhen I’d go in work really early and start my time recording, logging down the hours and half hours I’d spent on each case so we could bill the client. If I’d had a reasonably early night, I’d even head to the gym in the basement beforehand and catch up with my brothers or Vanessa, Jackson’s wife. This Thursday I woke up late, sunshine already pouring through my windows where I’d forgotten to close the curtains and immediately smelled coffee, glorious coffee, which meant someone was in my apartment.
I pulled on my dressing gown, hearing voices but not recognising who as they were purposely being quiet, and walked barefoot into my lounge. Seph and Owen stood at my breakfast bar, a couple of bags from Amelie’s café next to them, completely oblivious to me as they were deep in discussion.
“I’ve seen Myers Linders play and they’re screwed for speed. They’ve got a property lawyer, Graeme Fitzpatrick, who’s fairly quick, but he’s usually injured or hungover so we should have a good chance of a decent win,” Seph said, his hands flying everywhere as they did when he was enthusiastic.
I tried not to look at Owen. Over the past couple of days, I’d learnt that looking at him was a bad idea, especially if he caught me looking at him and gave me that smile—the one that had probably melted several thousand panties and wrecked a few hundred more pantyhose. His body was the result of running, weights and playing sports: squash, rugby, rowing when he got the chance and anything else that came along, and it had left him sculpted, because there was no other word. When he’d picked me up, it was as if I’d weighed nothing and I had a feeling that should I ever really refuse to move, he would just simply lift me and place me where he wanted me to be. I wanted to lick him all over and find out what it was like to have his weight on top of me, his hands holding my wrists above my head. I wanted to discover if he could do everything well with his body.
At this moment in time however, I wanted to know exactly why he and my brother were in my lounge.
“Lost your job, Seph?” I said, because he was the easier target.
He turned around, surprised to see me and I gave him the glare.
“And good morning Owen.” He gave me a sheepish grin. He was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, his hair still wet. My brother also looked freshly showered so putting two and two together—they’d been exercising.
“If there’s anything she can throw nearby, move it quickly,” Seph said. “I know that look and she’s pissed off.
“And why do you think that might be, brother dear?”
Owen held out a mug of coffee. “Peace offering. Before the war starts. He’s sorry.”
