The coffee shop was busy, most tables already full. Although I had a copy of the agreement, Roger Davies had already received it, so this was just a formality and possibly his way of being friendly.
"Over here, Vanessa." I turned around and saw Roger, sitting with a woman that wasn't his wife. It was Marie Callaghan.
"Hi," I said, my feet standing perfectly still and unable to move. Shit. Shit. Shit. What did I say? Or do? Could I run? Feign illness? She was going to want to kill me for hurting Jackson. Or maybe she didn't know. "Can I get you a coffee?" Lame, Van. So, lame.
"No, we're both good. You sort yourself out and then come and sit down," Marie said, holding up what looked like a large latte.
I managed to drag my unwilling feet to the counter and ordered an espresso and a latte, downing the espresso before I'd even paid, pretending it was a shot of tequila. Unsurprisingly, it didn't have the same effect.
The table they'd chosen was suitably tucked away, dark enough to hopefully hide the shadows under my eyes as I hadn't slept well since the last time I'd slept with Jackson. I sat down, beaming a smile that I didn't really feel and praying to every last deity available that Marie didn't know.
"Here's the signed contract, Vanessa," Roger said. "It was very straightforward and myself and the board are happy with it. We also liked the designs you sent based on the family's house, although next week we'd like to have a look at the alternatives."
I put the envelope into my bag alongside the contract I'd brought; clearly, I needn't have bothered.
"It's good to see you, Vanessa, although you look a little tired and pale. Jackson said you worked as hard as he did," Marie said, putting one hand on top of mine. I found my shoulders relaxing an inch; clearly, she wasn't going to have me murdered quite yet.
"About you and Jackson," Roger said. "I feel I am somewhat to blame for what's happened. In fact, my wife's currently not speaking to me. I should make it perfectly clear that we would've hired your firm for this campaign regardless of you knowing Jackson or not. I'm not using you as a favor to him, I'm using you as I think you'll do the best job, based on your pitch and the work you've done for other clients. I also apologize for insinuating that you'd done well by being courted by Jackson. Linda may have taken umbrage with that comment."
"Apology accepted." I wasn't sure what else to say. I looked across at Marie who smiled.
"I'm here on Linda's behalf and my own, really. Jackson should've told you he'd spoken to Roger, but the likelihood is he wouldn't have thought it was a big deal. I say likelihood as he'd dodging my calls because he doesn't want to talk about what's happened between you to me, but Claire says he's being atrociously difficult to deal with and she may need a good defense lawyer, so I hope you can sort it out," Marie said. "I'm also here to forewarn you that the daughter of a friend or ours is setting up a new jewelry shop here in Borough and I have recommended that she comes to you for some help with advertising. I hope that's okay? I didn't mention you were – or had been – seeing Jackson as she didn't need to know."
My cheeks were now anything but pale, in fact, if anyone looked over they might suspect I was having some form of allergic reaction. "Thank you for the recommendation. I'm not sure what to say about Jackson." I went for honesty. "I think I might have messed things up. And how did Claire know?"
"Your friend Sophie. But I don't want to get her into trouble with you."
"It's fine. Sophie would've been just looking out for me. Like Jackson was. Sophie promised she wouldn't contact Jackson but she didn't say anything about speaking with Claire." And it's then I feel a real sense of sadness and longing. "I've completely messed up."
Roger smiled, reminding me of my father. "I think we're all allowed to mess up sometimes. And I don't think it's irreparable. I'll just add that even if things don't work out between you and Jackson, we'll still be using your firm."
"And I'll still be recommending you. I know you were used to something different from Richard Cole and his family. Most people don't work like that," Marie said. "Now, about the ball."
The rest of the meeting stayed clear of discussions about Richard; Marie going over some of the details of the retirement ball and passing a pen drive full of photographs of Ed to be used however we wanted. Roger asked various questions about marketing and then Borough Market and the restaurants there, which then turned to a discussion about Simone. I remembered the reservation for Simone's tonight and felt nervous. I had no idea whether it would be Jackson there or someone else.
I checked my phone when I returned to the office, finding nothing but a text from Sophie and another from my gran. I slouched down at my desk and gave in.
Me:Thank you for the shoes and the dress. The shoes are perfect and I can't believe you remembered me saying how much I liked the dress.
A few minutes later my phone beeped. I tried to ignore it, perusing through some of the initial ideas Josh's team had come up with for an account, but curiosity got the better of me.
Jackson: Good.
Me: Will you be at Simone's tonight?
Jackson: Do you want me to be there?
Shit. I did. I wanted to see him so badly. To apologize for overreacting. To tell him that being able to own my successes was important to me. To tell him that I'd struggled to think of anything else since Thursday beside him and that made me feel pathetic because I'd never been like that before.
Jackson: It's okay if you don't. I can give you more time.
Me: I want you to be there. Why do you want me to be there?
Jackson: Why do you think?
Me: Because I screwed up and you want to tell me, just like Alice and Sophie have done? And Marie, kind of?
Jackson: When did Marie get involved?
