I saw the dots for a good couple of minutes, then they stopped. Shit, I should've told him I was meeting Richard and why, but it hadn't felt necessary, we hadn't been seeing each other that long and I was so used to making every damn decision by myself.
Vanessa:Simone was here. We met in her restaurant. I'm sorry I didn't mention it.
My phone rang as I pressed send, Jackson's name flashing up on the screen with a photo of his flexed bicep that he had taken himself and set as his picture. I answered straight away, my stomach in my mouth and tasking of wine again. "Hi."
"What the fuck, Van? Why didn't you tell me? You should've let me be there, hide in Simone's cleaning cupboard or something in case he was a fuckwit like last time? Why didn't you say anything? I would have canceled tonight, or left them to it. I don't get it. Why not tell me? I wouldn't have told you not to do it, if that was what you wanted, but don't lock me out." He was angry. I'd heard him like this before plenty of times, at work when he was frustrated with someone's work or a client or the coffee machine and right now, I got why he was angry with me. I'd hurt him.
Tears flooded my cheeks for the second time that night and I was thankful no one the other diners could see me. "I'm sorry," I said, my voice shaking. "I'm used to doing things on my own and I didn't want anyone to tell me it was a bad idea. I just needed closure."
Jackson was quiet. I heard a cheer in the background that sounded like Seph. "I get that, Van. I just – fuck. I've made you cry. Now I feel like the biggest fucking shit there is."
I choked a laugh. "You're not the biggest fucking shit, trust me."
"Are you okay? Was he alright with you? Do I need to kill him?" I heard something in his words that I couldn't explain, a need for something maybe.
"He was pleasant. Apologetic. I could've felt sorry for him but I chose not to. Aside from sending me a few bits from the apartment, I doubt I'll hear from him again." I used the napkin to wipe my eyes again. My eye make-up was well and truly inspiring for a teen's Halloween get up.
"Come over," he said. There was no question, just a command. "I need to see that you're okay."
"I look a mess."
"I don't care. I'll still find you beautiful. This lot will be gone in less than two minutes."
"Jackson, you can't just throw them out because I'm coming over."
He sighed. "You're far nicer than me. I'll keep Seph here as he can't find his ass at the moment, let alone his way home. Max and Killian won't stay long, they've other shit to do. Get a cab. Text Sophie you're staying with me."
"I'll be there in twenty. Thank you."
"What the fuck are you thanking me for?" he said, sounding angry again.
I laughed, less tearful this time. "I don't know. Just let me say it."
He grumbled something unintelligible. "Take a picture of the plate on the cab and text it me before you get in."
We hung up, although something felt distinctively left unsaid at the end of the conversation.
***
I could hear Seph singing when Jackson let me in. Jackson was scowling, his hair mussed from his hand having pulled through it too many times.
"Welcome to the land of drunken Seph," Jackson said, glowering. "What's even more irritating is that tomorrow he'll be up with the birds, in a really good mood and no sign of the hangover he should be suffering."
"Hi, Vanessa!" Seph said, peering down the stairs at me. "Didn't know you were staying tonight? Try and keep it down, won't you? Some of us need our beauty sleep."
"Why don't you go and start that beauty sleep now?" Jackson said. "I'm more than happy to help you by hitting you over the head with something hard."
Seph smiled beguilingly. "Would either of you lovely people like a coffee?"
"No. We'd like you to fuck off to the bedroom that's made up for you so we don't have to listen to your drunken drivel," Jackson said, his words and expression irate. I gave him a pointed look, feeling he was being harsh on Seph because he'd been upset by me.
"Jesus, brother, way to show your true colors," Seph said. "I hope you can improve his mood, Van."
"I'll try. 'Night Seph," I said as he trundled up the stairs, humming the same song. "There was no need to be that mean to him." I turned to Jackson who was now looking somewhat sheepish.
He shrugged. "There's always a reason to be mean to Seph, but yeah, he probably didn't deserve all of that." His hands went on my shoulders, his eyes blowing a storm. "I'm sorry I got cross with you. I can't believe I made you cry – that's not what I ever wanted to do. There's only one part of you I should be making wet."
My arms went around his waist, feeling his warmth and nearness, both of which I had been craving and I half laughed at his comment. "Yes, you upset me. But I'd already been upset after Richard left. No, not because he did anything." His expression had changed, looking like he wanted to kill someone. "Jackson, that's the last time I will probably see someone I lived with for six years. He has been a huge part of my life which is now over, and yes, that's a good thing, but it's also a big thing to get over."
