Claire:Is there something I don't know about?
Seph:There's always stuff you don't know about, for about three seconds, while you torture it out of us.
Claire:Ignoring that, loser. Why has Payton picked OXBO? We're not going there if I'm going to be sitting in a pool of UST.
Maxwell:UST? Is that like an STD?
Claire:Unresolved sexual tension, you fuckwit. And I keep telling you, you can't get an STD just from looking at a girl, Max...
Ava:Max doesn't look at girls, sis. He looks only at their resumes. Only Ph.D. graduates need apply.
Maxwell:Payton's been stalking one of the bartenders at OXBO on their social media accounts.
Payton:Thanks, big brother. Way to deflect attention off yourself.
Claire:Male or female.
Payton:Male. I'm passed the female phase. I need cock. Did you read that brothers? Especially Max because I really hope I'm grossing you out right now!!!!!!
Seph:Ignoring that and not looking at you because we're sitting in the same room and I want to pretend you've never been kissed because otherwise, I have to hit someone. Has anyone heard from Jackson this weekend? He's been weirdly quiet.
Ava:Unlike the rest of us, he might be getting some.
Maxwell:Speak for yourself.
Ava:Well are you bringing a plus one?
Maxwell:Actually, Killian's out and about this afternoon. Any issues with him joining us? Not as my plus one in the sexual sense, before anyone (Payton) starts.
Payton:I'll add an extra one for him.
Claire:Will he smile this time? He was a moody son of a so and so last time he joined us.
Maxwell:To be fair, he'd just had to have his dog put to sleep.
Seph:You can be a bitch sometimes, Claire. Moving on, again, has anyone heard from Jacks?
Payton:He was looking around a museum yesterday.
Claire:WTF?
Payton:There was a woman involved.
Seph:Since when has there not been, although he has been less prolific at the moment.
Claire:Hang on. Vanessa was taking her gran to the V&A yesterday. And they disappeared off together on Friday. I smell a dirty weekend.
Seph:With Vanessa's gran? That's a new low even for him.
I couldn't help but chuckle. Vanessa looked over, curious. "Here, have a read."
She scanned through the conversation. "Poor Max."
"What? You read all of that and your reaction is 'Poor Max'?"
"He takes so much shit off you all."
I shook my head and carried on reading.
