Nicky might not be experienced, but I knew how considerate he was. I also knew how he studied, so I expected he probably knew more about how female orgasms worked than most did.
“You’re suggesting you’d be my first?” He frowned, pulling his hands away.
I shrugged. “I might not be your type and you might not find me attractive – if you don’t, then that’s cool.” I had enough value on my self-worth to take that. Not every man liked dark-haired, olive-skinned girls with hair that was far too long to do much with. I wasn’t stylish, I rarely wore make-up, I didn’t exercise other than yoga and the occasional run, but I could hold a handstand with no wall and my kakasana was a thing of beauty. I saw nothing wrong with spending the day in my pyjamas, and brushing my hair was an optional thing when I could wear a messy bun and rock it like a star.
Nicky’s eyes filled with panic. “No, fuck, no, I think you’re gorgeous and I’m not just saying that to dig myself out of a hole. I just – shit. I have no idea what I’m saying.”
I laughed. “Nick, we’re cool. I’m not in a relationship. I like sex. We’re comfortable with each other. I don’t care if you last two point three seconds before blowing your load, because I’ll make you make it up to me the second and third time round. We’re both guaranteed a good time and then you get to move on without this hanging over your head.”
“What do you get out of it?”
“Orgasms.”
“You’re very confident about that.”
“I’m very good at giving them to myself if all else fails.” I was also getting a bit warm in certain places just thinking about it.
Shit. Maybe I was a bit of a freak? Wasn’t it just perverts who got off on the idea of taking someone’s virginity? Fuck. Did I need therapy?
“What just crossed your mind? That this is a really bad idea?” The tips of his fingers knocked against the tips of mine.
I shook my head. “I worry about myself every so often. It’s now past.” What he’d just said struck me. “You’re thinking about it?”
“Kitty, you’ve just kind of offered to sleep with me with no strings attached. My head is thinking about it andother thingsare definitely thinking about it.” His brows were raised and his eyes wide open. “I’m not getting up right now.”
I tipped my head back and laughed, looking up at the ceiling because suddenly looking at him was too hard.
We hadn’t had chemistry before. We were friends. I didn’t think of him like that.
Only now I did.
Shiiiiit.
I returned his gaze because staring at the ceiling any longer was one, going to seem weird, and two, I was getting a crick in my neck.
“Think on it. I’m planning on binge watching shit on TV tomorrow night and eating pizza. Come over – either to just hang out or, you know,you know.” I drank my tea, keeping an eye on him now and trying to read his expression. Nicky was usually as easy as a book to decipher, and by book, we’re talking fairy tales for primary school kids.
He nodded. “Can I think about it? Not coming over, but you know,you know?”
“Coming or coming in general?”
He started laughing, which started me off. There was something absurd about this, the strangest, weirdest,bestestfavour I’d ever offered to a friend.
“I’ll be here tomorrow anyway. Got to finish that essay.”
“Your new friend might be here too. Without the boyfriend as baggage.” I gave him an overdone wink.
Nicky groaned. “Seriously, no. I feel a fool with that.”
The laughter left me. “Why?”
He was quiet for a moment. “Because I thought she might just see me as a student and not a footballer. Those pound signs do weird shit to women. I’ve seen it with some of the lads on the team.”
He was right. I’d watched some of it play out too. There were some relationships that were nothing to do with that footballer, WAG lifestyle. Rowan Reeves was engaged to Dee Jones, another professional athlete who’d hated him to start with. Ryan O’Connell was with Otter Penhaligon, who was a bigger name than him, being a Hollywood star and all, not that he knew who she was when he first met her. Nate Morris, the team’s goalkeeper and the best dad ever, had just gotten together with Amber, one of my friends and one of the team’s physios.
I suspected that Nicky was looking for someone with the potential to have that with.
“Do you ever see your dad?” It was a pertinent question, I knew.
