19
Echo
Sneaking into Madame’s office is something I probably would have loved to do, back in my time as a student at the academy. Back then, I didn’t draw much attention to myself, so it wasn’t like I was called in to see her often. It’s a little like sneaking a look behind the curtain, but instead of finding a little guy pulling everybody's strings, all I’ve found are drawerfuls of mints, and a vast collection of toothpicks and floss. Madame’s super into her dental hygiene, apparently… and the motivational quotes, of course. Strange mix of interests for a strange lady.
There’s nothing here to hint that she’s the one that’s behind Wren and Camellia’s disappearances from the garden. Although, I don’t exactly know what we were expecting to find. A notebook with all her plans laid out? One of those whiteboards with their faces scratched out and a half-naked picture of Soren floating on a cloud in the middle?
I don’t know how to feel about Brogan and Soren’s theory that Madame wants to seduce Soren by destroying his life. Like Madame has some kind of fucked up, toxic savior complex going on. It sounds kind of ridiculous and like a whole load of effort to reel Soren in when she barely knows him, but I didn’t want to let the two of them down, especially when things are so tentative and rocky between us right now, so I agreed to come along and dig through Madame’s stuff.
It doesn’t feel great that Soren will barely look at me, although I know it’s entirely justified that he’s mad at me. He’s pretending that he’s not and that we reallyneedto focus on finding out what’s going on and nothing else but I still get the sense that things are going to suck for a little while, at least until we clear the air. My mind keeps wandering, stuck on my self-made problems, rather than focusing on the depressing fact that we still don’t seem any closer to finding Wren.
I don’t know what Brogan thinks of all of this, but he must think there’s some merit behind the Madame theory considering he’s going along with our snooping session with zero complaints.
Brogan and I work fast, rifling through Madame’s stuff while Soren is on the look-out outside, just in case the meeting she’s in ends early. I’m not sure what he’ll do if she shows up, maybe flirt with her or something.
… the thought makes my insides screw up so hard I have to rub my stomach to disperse the sudden cramp.
“You okay? Hungry?” Brogan asks.
“No. Stressed, I guess. Feel kinda sick,” I tell him. “Brogan, I—”
“We’ll get you a tea or something to help soothe your stomach,” he interrupts before I can blurt out the apology that’s right there on my tongue, ready to be released. “Just a couple more file drawers and I think we’ll have been through it all.”
“Maybe we should, like, clone the files off her computer or something. Camellia has that tech person we could send them through to.”
He shoots me an impressed look. “Do you have a disc or memory card or anything we can save them on?”
I shake my head and his expression falls and I hate that I’ve disappointed him again. So much for that idea, then.
“So what makes you think that she might have something to do with Wren and Cam going missing?” I ask.
Brogan shrugs. “Nothing in particular. We both were getting a weird vibe from her when she showed up at the garden, like she was supposed to be there to help us work out what might have happened to Cam, but she was more interested in spreading discord and flirting with Soren.”
I swallow hard. “Did you go back to Cam’s hut with her?”
He nods curtly, not pausing in his search. “She took the briefest of glances around and suggested yet again that they chose to leave the garden. She then said that she had a meeting to get to, and that she had to go.”
“I guess I’ll just see if there’s anything hidden under her desk or something. If she is hiding something, she might not keep any evidence out in the open.”
We root around a little more and still come up with nothing. There are no packages filled with photos of Soren’s face taped to the underside of her desk, no secret compartments. It’s quiet as we work, just the odd sound of a drawer opening and being shut and the whisper of papers being moved. After a little while, I feel that tingling on my tongue, the words I have not yet said begging to be spoken.
“I’m so sorry—”
But again, Brogan stops me before I can get them out. Instead, he comes right up close to me so that I’m looking directly at his chest, too much of a coward to meet his eye. “Look, baby, I don’t blame you, nor am I mad at you. I’m a little disappointed I didn’t get to meet you sooner, a little sad that something that was right for you ended up causing stress to other people, which I’d imagine taints your memories of it. But I understand why you had to do it. You needed to do something for your sister.”
I nod, and it’s a jerky, awkward movement. Being here again brings back all the memories that come with this place. The lonely nights spent up in my room by myself, wondering how my little sisters were faring without me and knowing they’d be just fine since I’d been entirely erased from their lives like I was never there at all. The long days of classes, of struggling to comprehend half of what was being said. I’d struggled enough with the human high school I went to since sitting still and trying to take in information with someone droning in my ear is really not my learning style. I felt so inadequate as a weaver, like maybe I was too dumb to be one.
Brogan pulls me into his chest, his hand running up and down my back as the memories crowd me. His touch is soothing and some of the tension in my shoulders lessens.
Soren barges into the office, eyes wild and searching.
“Find anything?”
We both shake our heads and I stumble slightly as Soren grabs my arm in one hand and Brogan’s in the other, dragging us toward a little cupboard in the far corner of the office.
“What—”
“She’s coming. Spotted her at the end of the corridor and then someone waylaid her, but she’ll be here any minute.”
