He smiles and leans down to kiss me. "That's all I'm asking. Let's keep an open communication channel going."
We stay at the ridge until the sun starts to dip toward the horizon. We take more pictures. We talk about nothing important and everything important.
This is what normal feels like, I realize as we pack up our trash and head back to the bike. This is what it's like to have someone. To do regular things with another person who actually wants to be there.
I could get used to this.
I really, really could.
Chapter 33: Ivan
The ride back from the ridge starts out innocent enough. Jay drives slowly at first, taking the curves easy and careful, and I hold onto his waist the way I have all day—my arms wrapped around him, my chest pressed against his back.
But something shifts as we leave the ridge behind. Maybe it's knowing we only have one more night together before I have to drive home. Or maybe it's that I've been pressed against his body for the past hour, feeling every breath he takes, every shift of his muscles, and I can't stop thinking about what's underneath his clothes. About what we did this morning. About what we could do tonight.
My hands start to wander.
At first, it's almost unconscious. My fingers are spreading wider on his stomach where they've been resting, slipping just under the hem of his shirt to touch the warm skin beneath. Just an inch or two. Just enough to feel the heat of him, the smoothness of his skin, the slight dampness from sweat. Jay's muscles tense under my palms, go rigid for a second, but he doesn't say anything. Doesn't tell me to stop. Doesn't pull away.
I take that as permission to continue.
I flatten my hands against his abs, feeling the lean ridges of muscle there, the way they flex and tighten when he shifts gears. He's not bulky like me. He's built like a runner or a swimmer, long and lean, every muscle defined and visible under his skin.
"Ivan," he says, his words carried back to me by the wind and the engine noise. "What are you doing?"
I lean forward, pressing my chest more fully against his back, bringing my mouth right up against his ear. "Feeling you up."
"I noticed that."
"Do you want me to stop?" I let my fingers dip lower, tracing the waistband of his jeans.
The bike slows slightly as we approach a curve. "No. Don't stop. Not yet."
I smile against his neck and let my hands slide lower, more deliberately now. Over his belt buckle, feeling the cool metal. Down to his thighs, gripping the hard muscle there through the thick denim. He's wearing jeans, but I can feel the heat of him through the fabric, the hard muscle of his quads tensing and releasing as he works the bike.
"You have amazing thighs," I tell him, squeezing gently, feeling the solid strength there. "Did you know that? I've been staring at them all day. Strong. Powerful. I keep thinking about what they'd feel like wrapped around me."
"Ivan—"
"I've been thinking about them all day," I continue, running my hands up and down, from his knees to his hips and back again, learning the shape of him. "Thinking about what they'd feel like if you wrapped them around my waist. Or my hips. Or my head."
The bike wobbles slightly, swerves a few inches before Jay corrects it. His grip tightens visibly on the handlebars, knuckles going white.
"You're going to make me crash," he warns.
"Then pull over. Find somewhere to stop."
"We're in the middle of nowhere. There's nothing here."
"Exactly." I let one hand drift inward, tracing along his inner thigh, following the seam of his jeans upward, stopping just short of where I can feel he's getting hard. "No one around for miles. Just us and the sunset and this bike."
"Ivan." It comes out half-warning, half-plea, and I can hear how wrecked he already sounds.
"I want you so bad," I whisper against his ear, my lips brushing the shell of it. "I've been thinking about it all day. I kept thinking about what I want to do to you when we get back to your room."
"What—" He swallows hard enough that I can feel it, his throat working. "What do you want to do to me?"
"Everything." I press an open-mouthed kiss to the side of his neck, tasting salt and skin. "I want to strip you naked and push you down onthat bed. I want to kiss every inch of your body until you're begging me for more."
