His face lights up immediately, and I realize I've stumbled onto the right topic. "Yeah. The Shadow. I found her at a police auction about twoyears ago. She was a mess—barely running, frame was rusted out, missing half her parts."
"How much did you pay for her?"
"Two hundred bucks. Everyone at the auction thought I was crazy, buying a bike that didn't even run right. The auctioneer even tried to talk me out of it." He pulls out his phone—an old model, screen cracked in one corner—and scrolls through until he finds a picture. "This is her now."
I take the phone and look at the image. A dark red motorcycle gleaming in the sunlight, all chrome and sleek lines. She's beautiful, powerful and elegant at the same time, not a trace of rust anywhere.
"You did all this yourself?"
"Every bolt, every wire, every piece of chrome." There's real pride in the words now. "Took me almost a year of working on her whenever I had time. Nights, weekends, any free moment. But she's mine. Built her up from nothing with my own two hands."
"She's beautiful." I hand the phone back, watching his face. "You'll have to take me for a ride sometime. I want to see what she can do."
"You want to go for a ride?" He looks surprised. "Really?"
"Hell, yes I want to go for a ride." I grin at him across the table. "I don't want to sit in a diner all day. Show me around. Show me your life. Show me everything."
"There's not much to see. The shop—"
"I don't care. want to see the shop where you work, the roads you ride, all of it." I lean forward across the table, holding his gaze. "I spent years imagining what your life might be like. Wondering where you were, what you were doing, if you were okay. Now I get to actually see it. That's not nothing, Jay. That's a big deal to me."
His dark eyes search my face then he smiles. "Okay, I'll show you around. But don't say I didn't warn you. It's not exactly exciting."
"I don't need exciting. I just need you."
The words come out before I can filter them or take them back. Jay's eyes widen slightly, and I feel heat creep up the back of my neck. I didn't mean it like that. Or did I? I don't even know anymore.
"I mean—" I start, trying to backtrack.
"I know what you meant," Jay interrupts. "I just—no one's ever said anything like that to me before. That they just need me. That I'm enough on my own."
"Then they were idiots. All of them."
Jay laughs. "You're something else, you know that?"
"So, I've been told." I finish my coffee and wave Betty over for a refill. "Now eat your breakfast. We've got a whole day ahead of us, and I want to see everything."
Jay shakes his head, still smiling, and picks up his fork. We eat in comfortable silence for a while, the sounds of the diner buzzing around us.
It feels normal. That's the strangest part. Sitting here with Jay eating breakfast feels like the most normal thing in the world.
Like all the time between was just a pause, a held breath, and now we can finally exhale.
Chapter 20: Jay
On the way back to the motel to get the motorcycle, I'm aware of Ivan in a way that's almost painful. His shoulders are broad under the jacket he's wearing, and he moves with an easy confidence I don't remember. Back then, he was always small, always hunched in on himself. Now he's big and takes up space like he has a right to it.
I can't stop looking at him. Every time he turns his head to glance at something—a bird, a shop window, a car passing by—I'm watching. Every time his arm brushes against mine as we walk, it sends a jolt through me that I have to fight to hide.
This is so fucking bad.
He's here because he found his foster brother. He's not here for whatever I'm feeling. These feelings that are getting stronger with every passing hour.
If he had any idea what was going through my head right now—the way I want to pull him close—he'd get in his truck and never look back.
"Are you okay?" he asks, glancing over at me. "You got quiet all of a sudden."
"Yeah. Just thinking about what to show you first. Trying to plan the route in my head."
