I pull him into a hug, wrapping my arms around him tight, crushing him against my chest. He buries his face in my shoulder, and I feel him shaking. Not crying, just trembling. Fighting to hold it together, fighting not to fall apart.
"You're going to be okay," I tell him fiercely, meaning it. "You're going to call about the arrest, and you're going to figure out what you're dealing with. And you're going to handle it. Because that's what you do. You survive. You handle things. You're the strongest person I know."
"What if I can't this time? What if I fail?"
"You won't. And if you need help, I'm a phone call away. Any time, day or night." I pull back enough to look at his face, to make him meet my eyes. "Don't forget that. No matter what time it is, no matter what's going on, no matter how bad you think it is, you call me. Promise me."
He nods, his eyes red but dry. He's holding on. "I promise."
I kiss him then. Right there in the parking lot, in broad daylight, where anyone walking by could see. I don't care. I kiss him deep and slow and thorough, trying to pour everything I feel into it. Every promise, every hope, every ounce of faith I have in him.
When I pull back, he's almost smiling, and it feels like a victory.
"Go," he says. "Before I drag you back inside and make you miss bedtime stories and math homework."
"That's not the threat you think it is. That sounds amazing right now."
"Go." He pushes me gently toward the truck, his hands on my chest. "Diana needs help with her math test. Caleb needs his dinosaur encyclopedia. Go be the person they need you to be."
I climb into the truck, start the engine. The sound feels too loud, too final. Jay steps back, giving me room to pull out. I roll down the window, needing one more moment.
"Nine o'clock," I say.
"Nine o'clock. I'll be waiting."
I pull out of the parking lot slowly, not wanting to go, not ready to leave. In my rearview mirror, I watch him standing there, watching me go, his hands back in his pockets. He doesn't move, doesn't turn away, just stands there watching until I turn the corner and he disappears from sight.
The drive home feels endless.
I spend most of it thinking. About Jay, about the arrest, about everything he said this morning. He's right that Rosalyn would see him as a risk if he has an assault conviction. He's right that I can't just bring him into her house with foster kids there, not without clearing that record first. He's right about all of it, and I hate that reality is so much more complicated than I wanted it to be.
But I can't just leave him to deal with this alone.
At a rest stop about an hour from home, I pull out my phone and start searching while I eat a terrible sandwich from the vending machine. Assault charges in Georgia. First offense penalties. How to get charges dropped or reduced. Expungement eligibility. Public defenders versus private attorneys.
The results aren't encouraging. Assault charges can stick for years, decades even. They show up on background checks forever if they result in a conviction. Even if Jay avoids jail time, even if he just pays fines and does community service, that record could follow him. Could keep him from getting jobs, apartments, opportunities. Could make it impossible for him to ever be around Rosalyn's house.
He needs a lawyer. A real one. Someone who knows how to navigate the system, who knows the prosecutors and judges, who can get chargesreduced or dismissed, who can maybe work out a deal that keeps this off his permanent record entirely.
Lawyers cost money. Money Jay doesn't have.
I think about my savings account. About the money I've built up, dollar by dollar, overtime shift by overtime shift. I always told myself it was for our future if and when I finally found him.
Maybe this is what that looks like. Not an apartment deposit or furniture. Maybe it's a lawyer. Maybe it's freedom from a mistake that could haunt him for the rest of his life. Maybe it's buying him a clean slate so we actually have a future to build together.
I put the phone away and keep driving, my mind already making plans.
It's evening when I pull into the driveway. The house is lit up, warm light spilling from every window. I can see movement inside through the curtains, shadows passing back and forth. The kids are probably finishing dinner, getting ready for the evening routine that I'm usually part of.
I grab my bag and head inside, steeling myself for the noise and chaos.
"Ivan!" Caleb barrels into me before I'm even fully through the door, wrapping his arms around my legs with enough force to nearly knock me over. "You're back! You're back! I missed you!"
"Hey, buddy." I ruffle his hair. "Miss me that much?"
"Rosalyn said you were visiting a friend. Was it fun? What did you do? Did you have adventures?"
"Yeah, it was really fun. We went for a ride on a motorcycle and had a picnic."
