“So that’s what I’ve been missing,” I finally said as I lifted my head and ran my hand over the stubble on Cole’s jaw.
He placed his hand over mine and brought it to his mouth so he could kiss my palm.
“That’s just the first taste of what it can be like for us,” he said huskily.
He clasped my hand, pulled me closer and kissed me.
It was an embrace that sent a shiver down my spine because it was filled with a promise of just how much more there was to learn.
I kissed him back, knowing that after tonight, I was never going to be the same.
Cole
“Iwish your mom had left some clues as to what happened all those years ago,” Lauren said as we sat at The Mug And Jug late the next morning. “I recently started going through Keith’s old journals and it’s like I’m discovering a part of my brother that I never knew. Maybe it was the age difference between us or the fact that he had to become like a parent to me, but he talks a lot about what it was like after my parents died. He writes about things that we never talked about. I don’t think he journaled before that. Maybe he needed some kind of outlet after they passed away. It’s weird getting to know him as an adult. I cherish every word of those journals now.”
I watched as Lauren took a sip of her coffee at the quiet table we’d snagged earlier.
We’d come damn close to not making it for a cinnamon roll this morning.
Once I’d been with Lauren, I hadn’t been able to get enough of her. We’d done plenty to make up for lost time.
So much so that I’d been afraid she’d end up so sore that she couldn’t walk, so I’d forced myself out of bed to bring her into town.
Not that she’d been complaining, but the poor woman needed a break.
She mentioned that she’d finally found out what she was missing, but I was pretty sure I’d had a little of that self-discovery myself.
I had plenty of sexual experience, but being with a woman had never been quite like it was with Lauren for me.
“You’ve never read those journals before?” I asked her curiously.
She shook her head. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It was too painful. I’ve carried them around with me for over a decade. I felt like it was finally time to start reading them now. I’m kind of glad I waited. I think I appreciate and understand them now that I’m more mature. I used to see Keith through a child’s eyes. Now I understand him as an adult.”
“It definitely would have helped if my mother had left some kind of written record, like a diary or letters. I think Asher is going to search a small part of Millie’s property and then he’s going to be done with his search. We’ve covered our property pretty well.”
Lauren cocked her head. “You’re glad about that, aren’t you? I can hear the relief in your voice.”
Fuck!This woman was getting to know me far too well.
“It’s time,” I said flatly. “I’m tired of watching Asher trying and failing. He swears he’s resigned to never finding my mother, but I honestly think it kills him every time he doesn’t find her. We need to let it go. We don’t have to wonder if she left us or abandoned us. We already know she didn’t. She died the day our father said that she left us. There was never a trace of her after that. Yeah, it would have been nice to put her to rest theway she deserved near her family in the Crystal Fork Cemetery, but maybe that just can’t happen. If our mother really loved us, there’s no way she’d want Asher to be putting himself through this kind of hell to find her. I don’t remember her that well, but Asher told me that all she ever wanted was for us to be happy. He’s not happy. I think she’d hate that.”
Lauren reached out and put her hand over mine on the table. “I think you’re right. I understand wanting to try, but I think he needs to let it go now that he’s covered most of the old ranch acreage. I wish it could have been different. I wish you both could have gotten your peace and closure, but I know your mom wouldn’t have wanted this to go on forever. I’m not a mother, but I don’t think most parents would want that for their kids.”
“You two are looking way too serious over here,” Silas said as he strolled over to our table. “Do you need some advice on something?”
Lauren tried to hide a smile as I looked over at her.
The elderly man was famous for handing out advice to anyone and everyone when he thought they needed it. Whether the person concerned wanted his advice or not.
I held up a hand. “I think we’re good, Silas,” I said firmly.
The older man shook his head. “I’m not sure what the problem is, but if you want some general advice, you two should be out enjoying the weather later today. It’s supposed to be more like spring this afternoon. That’s a rare March day for us. Maybe you could drag that brother of yours into town. I’d like to see him. We used to get along good. I’m not sure why he hasn’t visited. I never thought that he harmed your father.”
Hell, the slightly hurt look on the elderly man’s face bothered me.
At one time, he and Asherhadjoked around and gotten along well.
My brother had usually valued Silas’s advice because he’d never had any kind of father figure in his life.
