“I wish I could believe that Cole feels that way,” I said with a sigh. “I’m attracted to him in a way that I’ve never been attracted to guy before. Honestly, I don’t understand it. I’m not really very experienced, but I’ve never understood the big hype about sex.”
I watched as the three women exchanged puzzled looks before Reese asked, “Lauren, exactly how inexperienced are you?”
I let out a long breath. “Really inexperienced. I tried it once with a guy who actually dated me a little longer than a month. We were both geeks, but he was a nice guy, and I was tired of being a twenty-seven-year-old virgin. It was an awkward, painful experience. I don’t think he was very experienced, either. It was pretty horrible. We never went out again after that night, and I was convinced that sex was really no big deal. I didn’t need it, and I definitely didn’t enjoy it. That one night cured me of my curiosity about sex.”
The women were all silent for a moment before Reese finally spoke softly. “You had a bad first experience, Lauren. Sexisa big deal when you meet the right guy. Someday you’re going to meet a man who completely rocks your world and changes your mind.”
Anna and Hannah nodded their agreement.
I grinned sheepishly. “I guess I’ll have to take your word on that.”
“Trust us,” Anna said solemnly. “It will happen. But the chemistry has to be there.”
“Is that what’s happening with Cole?” I asked curiously. “Am I finally feeling that chemistry?”
It was almost a relief to be able to talk to these women about my previous sexual experience…or lack of experience.
“Do you want to get him naked?” Hannah asked quietly.
I nodded. “In the worst way.”
“That’s what’s happening,” Anna confirmed.
“I’m not sure I like feeling this way,” I said, feeling like an idiot because I was thirty-one years old and still hadn’t really figured out the whole sex thing. “I’m a numbers and logic woman. I deal with realistic things. Lusting after Cole doesn’t really make sense. We barely know each other.”
“Sometimes that chemistry doesn’t make sense,” Reese told me. “I certainly didn’t plan on lusting after a guy like Devon.”
“Kaleb and I never made sense, either,” Anna said with a sigh.
“It was always there between me and Tanner,” Hannah said. “It never died, even when we weren’t together, which really seems illogical.”
“I’m hoping it will go away after I’ve been around Cole for a while,” I admitted. “I like him. I want to be his friend.”
“That won’t work,” Anna warned. “I tried it with Kaleb. We have that crazy chemistry. It was hopeless.”
“Ditto with Devon,” Reese confessed. “It’s really hard to be friends with a guy when you want to tear his clothes off. And if that intense chemistry is really there, it’s not just going to fade away. Especially if he wants the same thing. Look, I know you don’t really believe that Cole has the hots for you, but he does. He hides it well, but one of these days, he’s going to let his guard down with you, Lauren.”
I shook my head slowly. “I’m not so sure about that. I don’t think he ever lets anyone in completely.”
“I used to think that he’d never let anyone in,” Reese mused. “But I’m starting to think he just needs the right woman he can trust and a little bit of time.”
“I don’t want to get my hopes up and start thinking that Cole and I could ever be more than friends,” I said hesitantly.
“Then don’t if you’re not comfortable with it,” Hannah advised. “Just enjoy his company and see what happens.”
“I’d like to see it happen,” Reese shared. “But I also don’t want to see you get hurt, Lauren. Cole has a heart, but he’s pretty rough around the edges.”
“He’s had to be tough,” I replied. “He never would have made it through his childhood if he wasn’t. I don’t think he’s ever learned to trust anyone except Asher.”
“If he’s ever going to learn to trust someone else, I think it’s going to be you,” Hannah said.
God, I hoped she was right.
I wasn’t so sure that Cole was truly attracted to me, but gaining his trust was starting to mean more to me every single day.
The man needed someone he could trust.
He needed to see that the entire town didn’t think he was a murderer.
