“Agreed,” Reese said. “But he’s not exactly easy to befriend. I know he has a good heart underneath all of his bullshit, but he’s not an easy man to know. Granted, he’s friendlier than Asher, but that’s not saying much. He’s slowlywarming up to his cousins, but I don’t think Cole is really close to anyone except his brother.”
“I can’t say I blame him for that,” I said thoughtfully. “His childhood was pure hell. He learned not to trust anyone except Asher.”
Reese held up a hand. “Don’t get me wrong. I know why Cole is so wary, and I think he deserves so much more. The whole family knows that his father was abusive, even though Cole and Asher claimed otherwise when they were children. I get frustrated because I can’t really get that close to him. Nobody can. I’m your biggest supporter if you think you can get him to trust you and open up to you.”
My mind went back to the day before.
Cole had been surprised when I’d hugged him, but he hadn’t pushed me away.
He’d actually hugged me back eventually.
I saw that as a good sign.
I couldn’t say that he’d dropped all of his defenses, but we’d had…something.
A moment of…affinity?
Okay, maybe that word was a little too hopeful, but for just a few moments, we’d connected.
He had opened up to me.
A little.
And I didn’t think that happened very often for a guy like him.
“I think Cole needs someone who trusts him before he’ll let his guard down,” I mused. “I thought he was a jerk, but I didn’t realize that his abrasive personality is actually a defense mechanism. I don’t think he means to be rude. He just wants people to leave him alone.”
“Exactly,” Reese agreed. “But there’s something about Cole that makes you uncomfortable. I noticed that at my wedding.”
I smiled at her. “That was before I realized that he isn’t really a jerk.”
“It’s not that,” Reese said as she slowly shook her head. “I could sense your uneasiness at the wedding. I think I recognized it because I felt that way with Devon at first. I think you’re actually attracted to Cole.”
I snorted. “What woman wouldn’t be attracted to Cole Remington?” I asked drily. “The man is sex on a stick. I think it’s a natural reaction with a guy as hot as Cole. I’ll get over it after I’ve been around him for a while. A man like Cole would never be attracted to someone like me. My goal is to be his friend.”
“Stop that,” Reese scolded. “He very wellcouldbe attracted to you. You’re smart, successful, and gorgeous. We’ve had this conversation a million times before. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, Lauren.”
“Maybe I haven’t completely internalized that yet,” I said ruefully.
I’d spent way too many years being an invisible geek.
It was hard to change that mindset in a short period of time, even with my female friends trying to drill more complimentary thoughts into my head all the time.
“You just haven’t met the right guy yet,” Reese said firmly. “You need a guy who isn’t intimidated by your success and your intelligence. If they are, they don’t deserve you anyway.”
I sighed. “If I didn’t find that guy in Boston, I don’t think he’s going to show up in Crystal Fork.”
“I found Devon here,” she argued. “And I’m not some economics genius who gained a very huge reputation in the business world at a very young age. Important people have been seeking you out for years, Lauren. They respect your researchand your analysis. I think that’s always been the problem with your love life. The men in your life were colleagues. They were so busy marveling at your talent that they never noticed that you’re also an attractive female.”
I thought about her words for a moment.
Reallyconsidered them for the first time.
“I’m not sure I wanted to be noticed,” I admitted. “Women are really underrepresented in the field of economics. It’s still heavily male-dominated. I had to fight hard to be taken seriously, especially in the beginning. I did everything I possibly could to fit in with the guys. I dressed frumpy, wore my hair in a tight braid to contain it, and passed on makeup because I didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that I was female. I always kept my behavior highly professional, and I was probably seen as a little standoffish. I guess I felt like that was what I needed to do in a field where most of my colleagues were male.”
Reese studied me for a moment before she said, “And you told me you never really went out to clubs or places where you’d meet guys who weren’t in your line of work.”
I shrugged. “I worked or studied all the time. I wanted to get ahead, to be the best in my field. I wasn’t in a position where I had anything or anyone to fall back on if I failed. After Keith died, I was alone in the world. I needed to make something out of my scholarships and the money I had for school. I spent my twenties trying to secure my future. I’m not really a club or bar person, so I didn’t feel like I was missing much. If I had free time, I preferred to stay home and read a good book.”
