I wasn’t used to talking to anyone about my life or anything remotely personal.
If anyone else except Lauren were asking that question, I would have ignored it.
Honestly, I would have shut anything personal down before this discussion had ever started.
There was just something genuine and kind about the woman in front of me that made me want to talk to her.
Hell, that had never happened to me before, and I wasn’t sure if I liked feeling that way.
Nevertheless, I still wanted to try to explain myself to Lauren for some damn reason I didn’t understand.
“I think you have some idea what it was like when we were growing up here years ago,” I said honestly. Everyone in Crystal Fork knew that my father was a raging alcoholic and an asshole. “I appreciate not having chaos and madness in my adult life.”
“I get that,” she said without any judgment in her tone. “I guess I just hate to see anyone trade happiness for peace and solitude. It gets lonely. I know that because I’ve done it. I think it’s possible to have both of them most of the time.”
“What do you know about solitude?” I scoffed.
“A lot, actually,” she answered in a contemplative voice. “I lost my parents when I was eight, and then I lost my older brother when I was barely eighteen. I was completely alone in the world after that, and I had to pick up and move to the city for college after spending my whole life in a small town in Montana. I felt pretty lost and pretty lonely for a long time. Tanner kept an eye on me, and I talked to Millie fairly often, but I still felt isolated and scared. I didn’t make friends easily, and I never fit into the typical college life. I was always considered a geek. I didn’t party, and I had to work while I was in school. I had scholarships, but the only funds I had was money Keith had saved for me for college.”
“Tanner didn’t contribute?” I asked.
I couldn’t claim to know any of my cousins well, but Millie had told me that Tanner and Lauren had formed a really close relationship since Keith’s death.
“He and Millie both offered to help me with college, but I told them I was fine. I couldn’t take their money, Cole. I love allof the Remingtons like family, but they aren’t my blood relatives. I’m still paying off student loans, but I was perfectly capable of making it on my own. Even though I wouldn’t take their money, Millie and Tanner were extremely generous with gifts and things they thought I might need while I was in school. Tanner paid for a lot of things for me that he really didn’t need to pay for. He’s been good to me from the day I lost my brother. And Millie started even before that, when I lost my parents.”
“Does Tanner know that you were working while you were in college and that you still owe on student loans?” I asked gruffly.
“No!” she exclaimed. “And you have to promise not to tell him. He’d pay off those loans in a heartbeat, and I’d hate that. I’m proud of the fact that my education was something I did mostly on my own. Tanner has done enough for me. He would have bought my house here if I’d let him. He doesn’t know when to stop. I’m trusting you with this information. I make good money now. I don’t need help. I shared the information with you so you could understand that I really do know what it’s like to be alone.”
Honestly, I’d never been completely alone. I’d always had Asher.
In some ways, Lauren had been more alone than I’d ever been.
It couldn’t have been easy for her to leave Crystal Fork by herself when she was still basically a kid. She’d left everything she knew while she was still grieving the loss of her only living relative.
“I would never tell him something you told me,” I assured her. “And I don’t exactly chat with him on a daily basis. For what it’s worth, I think it’s pretty incredible that you’ve become so damn successful on your own. You’ve accomplished a lot for your age.”
She smiled. “Not as much as you have.”
“I’m older, and I had Asher. We were a power team.” I paused before I asked, “You don’t feel alone anymore?”
She shook her head. “I’m home now. The Remingtons are my adopted family, and we spend a lot of time together. I also have good friends here. I feel like I’m back where I belong. I missed the wide-open spaces of Montana, and I really missed being able to ride. I’m a lot less lonely here than I was in Boston. Yeah, I wish that I had a prospective partner, but I’m getting pickier as I get older. I want someone who really wantsme.”
As far as I was concerned, that was probably every single guy in town.
They were just too damn afraid to approach Lauren and get to know her.
“I’m surprised the town matchmakers aren’t trying to hook you up,” I said drily.
Crystal Fork was notorious for the older married women here who felt like they had to hook up every single male and female in the small town.
Lauren was getting winded and sweaty, so she started to slow her speed. “They tried,” she said. “I even did a few of the blind dates that they set up, but they were a disaster. We didn’t click, and it was really uncomfortable. I don’t think any of those guys were attracted to me, and I wasn’t feeling it, either. I flatly refused to let them do any further matchmaking with me. If there’s someone out there for me, I guess we’ll just have to meet each other in person and decide we like each other.”
Holy fuck!Who in the hell had they set Lauren up with?
Any guy who didn’t do everything possible to get her interested was a complete moron.
In my mind, they weren’t good enough for her in the first place.
