“I’m going to have to tell him,” I said, my voice cracking with emotion. “I’ll tell both Cole and Asher. They deserve to know. I just need some time. I think I need to go see Ralph. My brother wanted to turn himself in. I think that’s probably what he’d want me to do.”
“Everything has changed since then, Lauren,” Tanner said. “That was ten years ago and he was still alive. Nothing good can really come from people knowing the truth now. The gossip about Keith would be vicious, and he’d be branded a murderer forever. I’d fucking hate that.”
I wanted to remind Tanner that my brother was, in fact, a murderer. Maybe it was a murder with extenuating circumstances, but still a murder.
Still, I really didn’t want to hear the horrible things people would say about someone I’d love so much, either.
“The case could be closed, and nobody would ever accuse Cole and Asher of being murderers again,” I said. “God, do you think I want to tell everyone that my brother killed your uncle? I wish I could just forget it and never talk about it again.”
“Then do it,” Tanner insisted. “Tell yourself that your brother made a mistake and move on with your life. This happened years ago, Lauren, and your brother is gone now. Keith would want you to be happy. I know you think this is a big deal, but I don’t think Cole is going to give a flying fuck about what happened to his father. I think all he cares about is you.”
“I don’t want to hurt him,” I said tearfully.
“Then don’t,” he said forcefully. “Tell him what happened, come to terms with it, and marry the poor guy. Cole has changed since you two got together, Lauren. I don’t think you realize how much. He even seems to like being around his family now. A good woman can give a guy a whole new perspective, and that’sexactly what happened to Cole. I’d like to see the two of you happy. You both deserve it.”
“I think I’m going to need a little space right now,” I told Tanner. “I’m going to have to be prepared for however he reacts to the truth. It’s a lot to find out that the brother of the woman you’re dating killed your father.”
“Not if that father was an abusive asshole who killed your mother,” Tanner grumbled. “Let go of the guilt, Lauren, or it’s going to eat you alive. It wasn’t your fault that Asher and Cole got the blame after it happened, either. You can feel bad that it happened without making it your fault.”
I stood because I really wanted Tanner to get home to Hannah. “I’m not sure that I know exactly how to do that yet,” I said in a lighter tone.
Tanner rose from the recliner. “Figure it out,” he suggested. “I’ll give you time, but I’m going to do whatever it takes to see you happy in the future. You didn’t need this shit right now. I wish Keith had never written those damn journals.”
I met Tanner’s gaze as we stood facing each other. “Is ignorance really bliss?” I asked softly.
The man in front of me caught me up in a giant bear hug as he answered, “In this case, I think a little bit of ignorance would have been just fucking fine.”
Lauren
Cole:I haven’t talked to you in eight damn days. I respected your request for some alone time last weekend, but I don’t think you just want some time to yourself. Something is wrong, angel. I can feel it. Talk to me.
It was Friday night, and I’d stalled for one more night.
I’d desperately needed the last eight days to put things into perspective.
I’d tell Cole the truth tomorrow.
My head was a little clearer, and I’d had some time to reason things out.
I’d calmed down, and my initial heartbreak was over.
I was still stunned that Keith had killed someone, but it didn’t diminish the love that I’d always felt for my brother.
All of my guilt hadn’t completely disappeared, but Tanner and I had talked several more times, and talking to Keith’s best friend and the man that had been like a brother to me had helped.
God, I missed Cole.
The man wasn’t just my lover and my boyfriend. He was my best friend. He was the man I wanted to run to whenever I needed someone to talk to.
Unfortunately, he was just too close to this situation.
Me:I promise I’ll come tomorrow. I have your reports ready. I wanted to bring them by anyway.
I was deliberately keeping things more casual.
Tanner had convinced me that there was no way that Cole was going to immediately break up with me.
Maybe he wouldn’t, but I had to wonder whether things would ever be the same between us.
