I don’t feel those… they aren’t in me.
Good.
Isaak or Ido must have taken care of him.
I crash to the floor.
Octavia drops with me, on her knees, her hands on my face, pushing my hair back from my eyes.
“Oh my God, Milo, no, please…” she cries.
I suck in a breath through the pain.
“Why the fuck would you do that?” she sobs.
“Because I’ll never let you get hurt again,” I rasp. “You’ve already been hurt too many times.”
“Milo,” she cries, her cheeks soaked with tears.
I lift a trembling hand to her face and wipe them away.
“You never used to say my name,” I murmur hoarsely. “I like the way it sounds on your lips. Say it again… fucking please.”
Everything goes black.
Chapter 78
Octavia
I look at myself in the mirror.
I’ve just come out of the shower. My rosy hair is still wet, darkened by the water. My face is clean now, free of dirt, though the bruises remain on my skin.
I look as though I’ve been hit by a train.
I keep looking at myself.
My eyes shine back at me, green and startlingly clear.
For the first time since I was thirteen, I am actually seeing myself.
I look older. My lips are fuller, my cheeks softer, my mid length pink hair suits me more than it ever has.
And the most surprising thing is that for the first time in years, standing in front of a mirror doesn’t hurt.
The void doesn’t open, it doesn’t try to swallow me whole.
The voices are silent.
Since that man stopped breathing, something heavy lifted from my chest. A weight I carried for years without realising it was there is simply… gone.
I’m free.
That little girl is finally free.
I don’t feel dirty anymore.
I know I never was, this was always the trauma talking, but knowing something and feeling it are two different things.
