“We never talked about protection,” I start.
He freezes.
Then he exhales. “You know I’d never put you at risk. And you know I haven’t…” He swallows. “I haven’t done this before.”
I glance back at him. “You mean never had sex? Like… you’re a virgin?”
A smile crosses his face again, not fake, but tight. “Are you?”
“It’s complicated,” I say instead.
“That makes two of us.”
We stay like that until the water begins to cool. When he finally speaks, his voice is gravelled.
“You know we’ll eventually have to talk about this.”
“I know,” I whisper.
It’s a lie.
Because no, we don’t have to talk about it. What we have now has to stay physical.
Just sex.
It can’t become more.
Wecan’t become more.
But I don’t say that. First, because I know he wouldn’t agree. And second, because I’m not sure I would either.
But this is how it’s supposed to be.
Tainted, ruined people don’t get a happily ever after.
Chapter 41
Octavia
We’re back at St. Monarché Academy.
December has settled in fully now, cold and damp. Switzerland, at least, had snow. Here on the island, it’s just rain.
Everything has gone back to normal.
By normal, I mean broken.
Piper barely says hello, if that. When I do see her, it’s only in passing, her head down, like she’s actively dodging interaction.
Adelaide is back to being insufferable. Whatever truce we managed to form in the Swiss Alps evaporated the moment we returned. We nearly came to blows a few days ago, the video was everywhere, especially on the academy gossip page.
I spend most of my time with my sister, but even that is rarer than it used to be. We orbit each other now instead of colliding, avoiding questions neither of us wants to answer.
Whatever illusion we allowed ourselves in Switzerland, the idea that we were some twisted version of friends, is gone.
Everyone is back to guarding their secrets.
What didn’t change is Markev.
