"Are you surprised I came over?" Hudson asked.
"Yes." I hoped I wasn't revealing too much by saying that.
"You didn't want me to come."
I chewed my lip, debating how much to tell him. "My ex was weird about the holidays. He would leave, and when I asked him where he went, he'd say to drive around. He mentioned something about pressure and not living up to everyone's expectations. I can't explain it because I don't understand it. And he did that enough that I decided being alone was better than living with someone but feeling lonely."
"That's interesting."
"Right? I was shocked the first time it happened and a little freaked out. I thought he was breaking up with me or at least cheating. But he really couldn't deal with expectations. He got fired from a lot of jobs too. It was a pattern I didn't see until it was too late. He can't handle any kind of pressure. So that's why he doesn't see Ayla on any holidays."
A crease appeared between his brows. "What about her birthday?"
"Not even then." This was something I didn't talk about with anyone, because it was such an odd thing. I'd never heard of anyone having that issue before. I felt like I was going a little bit crazy when I first noticed it was happening.
He touched my hand, and my gaze drifted to where his larger hand covered mine. The warmth seeped through my skin. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that."
Emotions were bubbling up inside me. I was afraid to give into them. I should get to know him better. I hadn't realized how Gus was until we were already married.
"I'm ready," Ayla called down the stairs.
"Coming," I said, and before I could stand, Hudson squeezed my hand. "Thank you for sharing that with me."
Before I could say anything, he stood and walked toward the steps. I followed at a slower pace. When I reached Ayla's door, he was already on the bed his feet stretched out in front of him.
It was difficult to draw a deep breath. I'd imagined sharing my life with someone, but nothing compared to the reality.
At one point, I thought my future was Gus. And I thought I'd be content being a single mom, assuming no one would want to get to know me and my daughter. But Hudson was blowing those assumptions out of the water.
Hudson's gaze met mine. "Are you coming?"
I huffed out a laugh as I moved to sit on the other side of Ayla. "Yeah."
This time, she picked a book about a bunny and a carrot. It was cute with visuals of tunnels and carrots around every turn. The bunny was obsessed with carrots, about as fixated as I was becoming on Hudson.
He finished the story and started to close the book, but Ayla stopped him. "Again."
"Ayla, ask nicely."
"Will you please read it again?" Ayla asked sweetly, and Hudson smiled.
"How can I say no to that?"
I groaned playfully. "Never let her know that she gets to you."
"I'll be reading all night, won't I?" Hudson said.
"There's nothing wrong with that," Ayla said.
I limited reading books at night to three picture books. Otherwise, she would take advantage, and I needed time to myself before I headed to bed. And tonight? I wanted Hudson to myself.
He was infiltrating the walls I'd put up. I'd thought they were so high; no one would be able to scale them. But Hudson was doing it easily. I needed to decide if I was going to let him, or if I was going to put up a fight.
The more time he spent with us, the less justification I was finding to put a stop to this. He seemed like a good guy. His family was great. And didn't I deserve something good? Something just for me?
I'd been working so hard to raise Ayla and build a future for ourselves. I could indulge in a handsome man who made time for me and my daughter.
When the story was finished the second time, I stood. "Time for bed. You had a big day."
