Loving him would change me, and losing him would too. I’d never be the same girl when the inevitable happened, and he destroyed me, but maybe that was the point, maybe I didn’t want to be. My life had changed so drastically since I lost Da that maybe I needed to change with it, learn, grow, and evolve intothe woman I needed to be if I was going to live my life without my daddy as my safety net.
Pagan’s cell phone chimed with a notification. He moved to where he’d hung his jacket, reached inside his pocket, and pulled his phone out to check his messages. “I gotta go. We’re headed to Arizona.”
My heart sank because a sudden realization hit me.
I didn’t want him to leave.
He pocketed his phone, his eyes never leaving mine. “I’ll call in on the way back to Wyoming. It’ll give you a couple of days to think. My brothers can ride ahead, and I’ll spend some time here.”
I wanted that more than anything, but I didn’t want Pagan to know it. I had a feeling he was all about the challenge, and I needed to play hard to get. Plus, I wanted time to think everything through without his presence clouding my thoughts.
“Let’s play it by ear,” I murmured. “Do you want my number so you can tell me your plans?”
He grinned, and I marveled again at just how fucking great his smile was. “Already got it, baby. I’ll message my digits over so you can store ’em. Go to work tomorrow. You shouldn’t have any more problems with your boss, but if he touches you again, I’ll deal with it personally and permanently.”
A sense of excitement rippled through my belly, and I whispered, “Okay.”
He reached out and cupped my cheek, his onyx eyes roaming over my face, almost as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. “Fuckin’ beautiful,” he said huskily, and with that parting shot, he grabbed his jacket, pulled open the door, and disappeared through it.
The silence of my apartment felt like a chasm. I stood frozen by the door, the thrum of my pulse still racing from Pagan’s kiss.
His presence, his scent, and the echo of his words danced around my skull until the absurdity of it all hit me, and I began to laugh out loud, pausing as I detected the faint growl of a Harley engine coming to life.
I ran to the window, my fingers carefully making a small gap in between the slats of the venetian blinds so I could catch a final glimpse. My gaze rested on Pagan, who was across the street, already sitting astride his bike while he placed his helmet over his head.
He pulled the chinstrap tight and glanced up, stilling when he saw my silhouette at the window. Then he placed both hands on the handlebars, leaned forward, and pulled away into the frigid, dark night with just a flick of his fingers to say goodbye.
My chest deflated, and the butterflies in my belly intensified when his words flashed through my mind.
You make me do the unthinkable. I don’t kiss.
In hindsight, I should have gone to my room, packed my cases, and gone home to my mammy. I should have run as far away from Pagan Sinclair as I could get, found a nice man, and settled into a quiet life.
But maybe even then it was too late.
I’d been branded by a man who’d set me on a path that thrilled me to the bone, and even though I knew deep in my soul it would end in tears, I didn’t care.
All it took was one taste, and I was already addicted.
CHAPTER 2
PAGAN
The continuous faint hum from the strip light was irritating the fuck out of me. I’d been tortured a time or two when I was a Marine, but it was a breeze compared to the low buzz that was driving me way more insane than a good old-fashioned beatdown ever did.
I couldn’t understand how anyone could stay cooped up in an office all day with its artificial lighting and stifling, recycled air. I was an open road kinda dude; the only time I’d ever felt truly at peace was when I was on my bike, riding free, and weirdly enough, as I’d recently discovered, when I was kissing the shit out of Aislynn O’Shea.
It was meant to be a power move, a way to assert my dominance and show her I was the one in charge, but it had backfired. The rush of heat, the quiver of her soft mouth against mine, the pure gush of want that took my breath away. Jesus, nobody’d ever made me feel anything like that; in fact, nobody had come close.
I could’ve spent more time with her, but after that kiss, I needed to get the fuck out of there, pull my head together, and regroup. And what better way to do that than to watch the sleazeball who dared to put his hands on her get fucked up bymy SAA and road captain. The boys had waited until the last employee had left before making their way up to the office.
Bootneck was perched on the edge of a table opposite Aislynn’s boss, who was gagged and bound to a chair. My brother had leaned forward, elbows to knees, his split knuckles hanging down between his legs as he had a quiet word while flanked by Fabio, who stared Richard Sketch down.
“You get off on forcin’ women, Dickie?” Boot asked in his hybrid English-American accent. “You like the power it gives ya?”
Sketch groaned his reply.
I hooked one boot over the other, casually leaning against the wall with my arms folded across my chest. I fucking loved watching Bootneck work; he was funny as hell in a psychopathic, serial killer kinda way.
