I turned back to Pagan just in time to see Bootneck open a door at the far end of the club and gesture for the others to go through. As they passed him, he slapped Candy’s ass, making her giggle so loudly that I heard the high-pitched tinkle from across the room.
Hot tears burned the back of my throat, and with shaking knees, I reached out and grabbed the bar to steady myself.
“Oh, Ash,” Roxie murmured in her soft Southern accent. “Come on, honey. Let’s get you out of here.”
“It’s okay,” I blurted out, trying to keep the tears back. “Scrap’s outside waiting. I just need to get my phone.”
Luiz, the bartender, walked behind the bar. “Just spoke to Scrap; he said you were around somewhere. Here, I’ve got your cell phone.”
I took it from him silently, still dazed at what I witnessed, and a thought hit me.
In that very moment, Pagan was in a back office with Bootneck, fucking another woman.
Jesus Christ, I was going to throw up.
A hand took my elbow and tugged me toward the exit. “Come on. Let’s get you out of here.”
My eyes lifted to stare at Roxie, incredulous. “Are you crazy? I’m gonna go in there and kick his fucking ass.”
She smiled but shook her head. “You don’t get it, Ash. It’s a different world with different rules than what you’re used to. The Kings of Anarchy men aren’t considered off-limits unless they put a ring on your finger or a patch on your back. Until that time comes, you have no say in what they do.”
“That’s fucking ridiculous,” I protested.
“In our world, it is. In their world, it’s normal, and you either put up and shut up, or you leave. It’s just the way it is, honey, and believe me, I know it’s hard, but if you want Pagan, you don’t have a choice.” She squeezed my fingers reassuringly. “The good news is that once he makes you his ol’ lady, it stops. You just have to hang in there.”
We hit the parking lot, and I pulled my arm away from her, whirling to face her. “No, I don’t, Rox. This is a hard line for me.” I glanced at her and noted the resignation on her face, and it hit me. “Does Nox do this to you?”
Her cheeks stained red.
“But you’re better than that, honey,” I murmured.
“Am I?” she questioned. “Maybe what you mean is,you’rebetter than that with your protective brothers, supportive mom, and your master’s degree in architecture. I’m a twenty-six-year-old stripper who got pregnant at seventeen and now raises her daughter alone because her baby daddy went off with another woman. Nox isn’t perfect, but he’s good to me and my kid, so before you judge me, just remember that not everybody got the same opportunities as you did.”
“Bullshit,” I retorted.
Roxie’s eyebrows pulled together.
“You’re a fucking amazing dancer who’s clawed her way from nothing to earning big bucks. While you did that, you raised a beautiful, amazing girl who adores you. Your life isn’t shit, Rox, so why the hell are you accepting it from him? I could take youto my brother’s bar tomorrow; I have no doubt in my mind you’d find a man who would treat you like the queen you are.”
Her sharp intake of breath was audible. “D’ya think?”
“I know,” I said huskily, my throat burning to the point of pain.
“Jesus,” she breathed. “You’ve just seen Pagan’s bullshit, and you’re out here giving me a pep talk.”
My chest throbbed with anger. “If us girls can’t stick together, then we’re fucked, Rox.”
She nodded, turned, and walked to the car where Scrap was still waiting. I watched her lean down to the window and smile. “Honey, I’ll take Ash back to the clubhouse. She’s changed her mind and wants to stay for a drink.”
The prospect nodded and, without a word, he drove away.
Rox headed back toward me. “Have you got your car keys?”
“Yeah,” I replied. “But I can’t drive. I’ve been drinking.”
She smiled and raised one eyebrow. “I haven’t. Wanna stay at my place tonight, then you can head home in the morning?”
A thought hit me. “I need to get my stuff from the clubhouse.”
