I glanced at him as he slid back onto his stool beside me. “Yeah. Scrap gave her a ride.”
“And you’re here watchin’ Candy get her tits out?”
“Need some space,” I shot back.
He chuckled under his breath.
I slowly swiveled my face toward him. “Got somethin’ to say?”
“Don’t start your shit with me, Ade. You know what you’re doin’. Emotions runnin’ riot? Feelin’ suffocated? Brain fartin’? Feel like you’re livin’ in the goddamn fuckin’ upside down? You need to see a psych.” He shook his head at me like I was a stupid fuck. “Are you sleepin’?”
It was my turn to heave out a frustrated sigh. “Some.”
“How much is some?”
“Could be an hour one night, others three or four.”
He muttered obscenities under his breath and raised his hand to point an accusing finger at me. “Tomorrow, you’re goin’ to the VA in Rock Springs.”
I picked up my beer and took another swig. “Got the boys comin’.”
“Right, so we’ll go to the open meetin’ Monday mornin’,” he insisted.
“Jesus Christ, Boot,” I grumbled. “I feel fine.”
“Good,” he retorted. “Then you’ll feel even finer after the meet.”
I tipped my head back and silently asked God to give me strength. “Alright, alright. I’ll go to the meet on Monday, but it’s a waste of my damned time.”
Boot grinned from ear to ear. “Marvelous. It’s a date.”
I pressed my lips into a thin line, my attention again getting caught by Candy. “Doesn’t help that I haven’t fucked for months.”
“Still?” he asked incredulously.
I winced. “It’s not Ash holdin’ back. I like the idea of waitin’. It’s not somethin’ I’ve thought about before, but things hit different with her.”
“Could’ve fuckin’ fooled me the way you’re dickin’ her around.” He took a swig of his beer, his stare never leaving mine. “Okay, so get it elsewhere. That way, you can keep your girl all new and shiny but still get your rocks off. It’s not like she’s your ol’ lady or your wife yet; she doesn’t even need to know. It’s not ideal, but at least you’ll sleep. You’ve been a bastard to everyone lately, and the brothers are startin’ to notice something’s goin’ on with you. How long d’ya think you can carry on like this? Just exhaust yourself with one of the girls, then go to bed, and wake up a new man in the mornin’.”
The thought of some random bitch touching me made my gut clench. “Nah. I’ll speak to the psych when I go to Rock Springs. Get some sleepin’ pills.”
“You still on antidepressants?” he asked.
“Haven’t taken ’em for a few years,” I responded quietly. “They weaned me off ’em, and I seemed to be okay.”
“You should talk to the nurse about that, too,” he suggested.
I nodded, my eyes darting back to Candy. She’d finished her set and was talking to a crowd of dudes out on a bachelor party.
Bootneck followed my stare and nudged me. “Want me to get her? You could take her back to the office.”
As Boot said the words, Candy looked up and caught me staring at her. My gut sank as I watched her lips curve into a sensual smile. She said something to the group of guys before sashaying toward us, looking like the cat that got the cream.
My heart gave a hard thud and began to race.
Nothing about it felt right, but Boot made a good point. Maybe getting some pent-up frustration out would help me chill out. I hadn’t gone this long without fucking a woman since I was in the military and there were no women around to play with. Sex helped me sleep and keep my head straight. I was so fucking exhausted, at this point, I’d try anything to get some decent shut-eye.
And it wasn’t like it would mean anything.
