“Where will I go?”I asked him, realizing that this limbo I’d been existing in was coming to a close.
“I know you want to finish school, but this semester is a bust anyway.And you could use a break from things this summer.Come stay with me.California will be good for you.A change.”
California?There would have been a time I’d have jumped at the chance to live with Calvin.But now, it was all different.How I felt when I was with him had changed.Sure, over the years, my love for him had evolved, and the romantic side of it faded.I had come to see him as the friend he was and not hope for more simply because I knew for him it would never be more.Deep down I’d held onto the idea it would change for us or evolve.That was gone now.
The things that had stirred in me with Forge were so bright, wild, and intense that I knew what I’d felt for Calvin came from safety and comfort.I trusted him.He was a major part of my life.He’d been with me through every milestone.We’d grown up with each other.Become adults together.He was a piece of me.But I’d never felt even a smidgen for him the things that Forge had woken up inside me.With Forge, it was terrifying and exhilarating, all at the same time.
My parents had been my home.All that I had left of family now was Calvin.It made sense to go stay with him.But the idea of leaving here brought a new sorrow I didn’t want to face.
“We can work out all the specifics later,” he told me, standing up.“Right now, we need to focus on getting you ready to move on with your life, and that starts with watching their funeral.”
I hadn’t realized he meant we were going to watch it right away.I didn’t move to get up, and he held out his hand for me to take.I stared at it for a moment, then slipped mine into it and let him pull me to my feet.
“You can do this,” he assured me.“I’ll be right there beside you.”
I nodded, not sure I could do it, but maybe he was right.Maybe it was time.
We gathered our things and started the short walk back to the house.
“Once you’re in LA with me, the gang can fly in, and we can all catch up.Ned and Miley still aren’t speaking, but they can come at different times,” Calvin told me.
I’d been with them less than a month ago, yet it seemed like another lifetime.The idea of seeing them all again should bring me some small solace, but it did nothing.It felt as if I were sinking, and I didn’t know how to stop it.This place—no, Forge—had become a lifeboat for me.He’d been there through my darkest days as a distraction, a reason to smile again, and now I was losing him.Or perhaps I had already lost him.
“I can sleep on the sofa, and you can have my bed.”Calvin continued talking.
I shook my head.“No.I’ll sleep on the sofa.”
“My roommate is a weather anchor on one of the local channels.He gets up at three in the morning to make his coffee.The living room and kitchen are open to each other.I’m not letting you sleep in there.”
I shrugged.I would probably be glad to be woken up from whatever nightmare I’d been having.“I don’t mind.”
“I do.Drop that one, Elsie.You won’t win.”
I started to argue anyway when we turned the corner, heading toward the pool area, when all words and thoughts vanished at the sight of Forge.He was standing there, leaning a shoulder against one of the columns that held up the covered area.Dark sunglasses, shirtless, in a pair of athletic shorts that hung loosely on his hips.It was the cigarette between his lips that startled me the most though.I already knew how droolworthy his abs and chest were.I’d not known he smoked.And of course, he even made that sexy.Something I hadn’t thought was possible.
Calvin raised a hand to wave at him.“Hey,” he called out, smiling.
I remained silent.My mouth had gone dry at the sight of him.It had only been days, but felt so much longer.The last time I’d seen him wasn’t a good memory.The closer we got, the more anxious I became.It felt as if his gaze was boring into me, but I couldn’t be sure of that since the glasses covered his eyes.He didn’t respond to Calvin’s greeting, only took the cigarette from his mouth and held it to his side as he remained in his relaxed position.
Letting my gaze travel down his chest, over the artwork displayed across his sculpted form, I realized he was glistening.His hair wasn’t wet, was it?My eyes shot back up to check and see.It seemed slightly damp in places, but more like he’d been sweating rather than swimming.
“Those will kill you,” Calvin told him in a joking tone once we were a few feet away.
“Lotta fucking things will kill me, eventually,” Forge drawled, but it felt as if he were looking directly at me.
Calvin chuckled.“Good point.How’s—”
“Did you eat something?”Forge interrupted whatever Calvin had been about to say.
He was talking to me.We didn’t need to see his eyes to know.The intensity of his stare caused goose bumps to break out down my arms.
“I, uh … yes,” I stammered.
“Brought her favorites,” Calvin stated proudly.“She can’t turn those down.”
Forge didn’t appear to care, or he was just purposely ignoring him.He stood there silently, lifting the cigarette back to his lips.He took an effortless inhale, yet it was slow and deliberate.
“Spoke with Oz this morning.”Calvin continued talking because he wasn’t good with silence.It made him uncomfortable.“He says Elsie can leave soon.We were going to go watch the funeral video.Do you know where we can find it?”
