I ran my hand down her hair over and over, trying to soothe her.“I’m here.You’re okay,” I repeated.
Her hand gripped my arm and held on tightly.Erratic, fast breathing slowly began to fade into normalcy.The tight hold she had on me eased.But my heart rate was still hammering away in my chest.
What had she been dreaming about?Her parents’ deaths?
My throat felt tight, and I took a deep breath, trying to calm down.Did she do that often?Fuck.
I held her to me tightly, although I was pretty sure whatever nightmare had her was gone.It was for my own sanity.This put leaving in a different perspective.Elsie wasn’t like other girls.She’d been dealt a horror most would never face.My staying with her was so she wouldn’t be alone in case the nightmare returned.She’d understand that.
We hadn’t fucked.And not because I wouldn’t fit.I grinned at her believing that was the case.No, I’d stopped things because she had been saving herself for the right guy.Whatever the fuck that meant.I just knew I wasn’t him.There was no romance or relationship in our future.
When I looked down at her face, the ache in my chest told me she deserved so much more than I could offer.With me, she’d get hurt.I wasn’t that guy.But damn the idea of some unknown bastard being the one …
And I was back in that cage, pacing.
Thirty
Elsie
Before I was fully awake or opened my eyes, I could smell him.The warmth of his body against my back was the next thing that registered.Lastly, the hard ridge of his erection against my bare butt.
A tingle ran through me.He had stayed with me last night.Did that mean we would do more of the things we had last night?I hadn’t woken up all night long.I couldn’t remember dreaming, if I had.I felt rested and … not so heavy.The world didn’t seem as dark today.
Guilt crept in as I thought about it.Was I allowed to feel happiness?Shouldn’t that be impossible?
The arm Forge had over me moved, and his hand covered one of my breasts.A low, sleepy groan came from his chest.I watched his large, tanned hand knead the plump mound, and I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from making a sound.I wasn’t sure if he was asleep or not.If he woke up, would he stop?
His face buried into the back of my hair.“Mmm.Fuck, you smell good.”His voice was thick and raspy, sending goose bumps over my body.
I really liked waking up with him.
He rocked his hips, rubbing against me.The area between my legs was already damp, but that was making it much worse.
“You feel good too,” he murmured.
Just as I started to pant, he was gone.
“I’d better get up.Probably got fifty texts and calls from Oz about last night,” he said as he threw the covers back and got out of bed.
I turned to look at him while holding the sheet up to cover my nudity, which was dumb since he had seen it all last night.He stretched, and the muscles in his back stood out as his butt tightened.He was mouthwatering.The view was over too soon, and he bent down to grab his jeans and slid them up, not bothering with the boxers.Leaving them unbuttoned, he snatched up his shirt and boxers, then glanced back to find me watching him.
He winked, then ran a hand through his messy hair.“Got to get to work,” he said.‘Thanks for letting me crash in your bed.”
I lay there silently, not sure how to respond to that as he strode to the door.Without another backward glance, he opened it and left.I stared at the closed door for several minutes, not sure what had just happened or if that was as weird as I thought it was.
I hadn’t expected him to stay in here all night, sure, but he did.Then he’d just, felt me up, thanked me, and left?
When I shivered this time, it wasn’t from excitement or pleasure.The smell of him on the sheets made my stomach clench.I had to take a shower.Get his scent off me.I wasn’t handling this right.I knew that.He hadn’t come in here, declaring love.We’d just messed around.I’d done that before.I just hadn’t felt that way about someone or been so completely blissful and in the moment.That was all new to me.But clearly, it hadn’t been new to him, or he hadn’t experienced the same emotions I had.
As much as I wanted to curl up in the bed and be sad, I knew it would only make things worse.I had to get up, take a shower, and get over it.
Forge hadn’t done anything wrong.He’d given me more pleasure than I’d known was possible.But it seemed that, much like his cousin, I wasn’t the girl who would change his world.I wouldn’t be his one.
The things he’d said in the heat of the moment last night, like being addicted to my taste, were just things he probably said to every girl.In the light of day, he couldn’t get away from me fast enough.
Dragging myself from the bed, I went to the bathroom and turned on the shower.While waiting on the water to get hot, I glanced over my shoulder at the girl in the mirror.There had been times when I stood in front of the one in my bedroom, trying to decide what I could do to get Calvin to see me in a different light.Picked apart all my faults.I had moved past that.I wouldn’t start it up again.
“You are beautiful, Elsie.Perfect just the way you are.Never change yourself for someone else.”My mom’s words replayed in my head.
