Love ya,
Calvin
I didn’t read through his letter a second time.Folding it and putting it away, I decided I’d go ahead and respond.
When I’d taken the letter to Oz this morning at breakfast, I hadn’t expected him to get it to Calvin so quickly.That had been nice of him.Responding to Calvin gave me something to do this evening.
Forge had left to go handle business that had come up.I didn’t want to think about what that meant.Sometimes, I wished that Calvin hadn’t told me what they were.The games tonight were being watched at Gathe’s house, not here.
I’d been looking forward to a reason to see Forge all day even though I’d heard his bedroom door open and close at four this morning.That was more difficult to swallow than it should have been.
It seemed he’d found what he’d gone out looking for last night.
I’d rolled over on my side and stared at the window for two hours, unable to go back to sleep.The threat of more nightmares was part of the reason, the other being that my mind wouldn’t shut off thinking about life.The video of my parents’ funeral, how long I would stay here, where I would live when I did leave, and Forge.He seemed to creep in, even when I tried not to think about him.
It was better that I left sooner rather than later.I was getting attached to him, and it was happening at a rapid pace.I wanted to blame my current emotional state, but I wasn’t so sure that was it.He was charming, gorgeous, sexy, and fun to be around.He made me feel understood, seen, safe.More than Calvin ever had, and that wasn’t fair to compare the two because Calvin was a great friend.He’d always been there for me.He might not have loved me the way I had him, but he had loved me.He did love me.
None of that mattered.I was spending too much time dissecting my feelings for Forge.It didn’t make a difference what they were.He was in my life for a short time.
Picking up a pen, I sat down to write him back.
Calvin,
I paused, letting the pen hover over the page.When I had written about seeing Forge naked, I’d thought it was funny.Now, I wasn’t feeling it.
He opened his bedroom door, not realizing I was walking by, and apparently, he had slept naked and forgotten he wasn’t clothed.Misunderstanding.I was a little embarrassed, but I got over it.You know how awkward I can be about things like that.
I am not locking myself away.I promise.I go outside.They have a lovely backyard, and I do intend to enjoy the pool.It’s heated, so that will be nice.Don’t worry about me.
Tell me about things on set.Anything new?Still replacing me with the new girl, Koralee is it?She doesn’t get BFF position.That is mine.Forever.She doesn’t want to face my wrath.
On a more somber note, Oz was able to get a video of my parents’ funeral.But I don’t think I can watch it.At least not alone.Or with someone other than you.I’m going to wait until you can visit.Not rushing you, but do you have any idea when that might be?
I paused and reread what I’d written.I didn’t know what else to say.I wanted to talk to Calvin, hear his voice, not write him.
Love,
Your one and only best friend
Twenty-One
Forge
“You seen Elsie?”Oz asked.
No.I hadn’t seen her in two days, and that had been on purpose.My thoughts seemed to always go to her, and it was bothering me.But the last two days, no matter how much shit I had thrown myself into to keep busy, she’d seemed to be implanted in my head.Taunting me.Reminding me how she made me feel better, like I could breathe deeper around her.I didn’t stay in the darkness.I found reasons to laugh.Watching the games at Gathe’s had sucked.Not just because Elsie had made the job easier, but she had made it enjoyable.
“No,” I muttered while watching the espresso machine brew my morning cup.
“I’ve got to head out early.Ransom needs some help with a delivery,” he told me, as if I gave a shit.“Could you make sure she gets this?”
I glanced back over my shoulder to see him place an envelope on the bar.
“What is it?”
“A letter from Calvin.What the fuck else would it be?”he replied, then turned to walk out of the kitchen.
I studied the envelope, wondering if it was sealed.Not that it was my business.But it wouldn’t be the first one I’d read.Before though, I hadn’t known her, we hadn’t been … friends, I hadn’t cared.
