“What are they?” she asked, wiping any hint of expression from her features.
He fidgeted. How was he supposed to know what she was thinking if she hid it from him? “Well… if something were to go wrong between us, it could create tension between me and Theo and you and Kate. Kate is your best friend and Theo is mine. I’ve always let him down, and I don’t want to do that again.”
Her features eased, her eyes softening, and he thanked his lucky stars that the blank facade had vanished so quickly.
“I understand your concern. Kate is important to me, and I suspect that Theodore is even more important to you, so it makes sense that you wouldn’t want to jeopardize those relationships, but I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit. I doubt you’ve ever let him down.”
“You’d be surprised,” he muttered, recalling Theo’s devastation when he realized he’d have to remarry because of Nicholas’s actions.
“Maybe,” she allowed, sliding her hands under her thighs and pinning them to the bed. “But I believe that we could work through any disagreements before they escalate to that stage. You and I have been friends for over a year, and that gives us a solid foundation for our relationship.”
She was saying everything he wanted to hear, and he looked around the room, focusing on the overly pink decorrather than on the way her flush had spread down her neck and across the top of her chest.
He cleared his throat. “There’s another reason.”
“What is it?”
He bit the inside of his lip so hard that the metallic tang of iron filled his mouth. “I’m not sure if I can tell you. It involves a secret that isn’t mine to share. Or at least, not in its entirety. Suffice it to say that marrying you might shatter my relationship with my mother.”
A question appeared in her eyes. He wished he could give her the answer she sought.
“Since this secret affects my future, I would like to know what it is, but you can take some time to think it over further before deciding whether to share, if that would make you more comfortable.”
Comfortable? He almost scoffed. Nothing about this situation was comfortable.
She withdrew one of her hands from beneath her thigh and extended it to him. He took it, aching to peel away the glove and pepper the inside of her wrist with kisses. He settled for kissing the glove-clad back of her hand instead.
“Do you want to marry me?” she asked, a tiny quiver in her voice giving away her nerves. “Because if you do, we can find a way to make it happen and ensure that you don’t lose your mother or your brother. I don’t know how yet because I don’t know what your secret is, but there must be options.”
Did hewantto?
He hadn’t even allowed himself to wonder.
What would it feel like to wake up every morning and see Sophie’s sleepy face on the pillow beside his?
How widely would she smile when he finally took her to Hensley Racecourse?
How right would it be to pull her close and hold her in his arms whenever he wanted?
His gut ached and the back of his throat thickened.
The truth was, he did want to marry her.
Badly.
“Yes,” he whispered, afraid to say it any louder. “Marrying you would make me… happy.”
And so few things made Nicholas genuinely happy.
A good sparring session with his brother, a hard ride on Blackheart, the sight of Sophie’s face lighting up as she saw him after a time apart.
“Really?” She looked so achingly hopeful that he wanted to slap himself for giving her reason to doubt her own appeal.
He shifted over to the bed, giving in to the devil that had been whispering on his shoulder, and cupped her face. “Truly. You are the only woman who’s ever tempted me to consider forever. May I kiss you?”
He wasn’t going to make the same mistake as he had earlier, when he’d jumped in without permission or forethought.
“Yes.”
