Gods, I wanted to know what he was thinking. It took all of my self-restraint not to go digging right away.
“Nice thing about dating an artist is we kind of roll with weird.And, you know... I’m interested. I’d like to know how you feel, whenever and whatever you want to share.”
Landon blinked at me like I’d kicked him in the shins under the table.
I hadn’t.
Oh shit, had I?
No. No. Feet firmly on the ground.
Good.
“I was engaged,” Landon admitted. “It, ah, it didn’t end great. My ex, he cheated on me. With my brother. And they’re—well, they’re getting married. Everyone’s on their side. So I kind of figured Boston wasn’t the place for me anymore, but I... when I met you, I didn’t want to get in between two brothers and—” He cut off, shaking his head, redder than I’d seen him yet.
“Shit,” I said under my breath. “That’s a fucking asshole move on everyone’s part. I mean, everyone but you. But yourbrother. And your fiancé. I can’t imagine. I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head again. “It’s fine.”
I frowned. “No, it’s not.”
He bit his lip. His mouth twitched, and I got the feeling he smiled through some awful stuff pretty regularly.
“I guess not,” he admitted.
“I’d kick Lucas’s ass. Shit, if I were that kind of dickwad, I’d expect him to kick mine. I’m really sorry you were surrounded by assholes.”
Landon snorted, and somehow, it was the cutest thing I’d ever seen. “Me too.” He grimaced. “It’s all pretty messy.”
I shook my head. His past didn’t matter beyond how it affected him today, and I wasn’t about to hold it against a good guy for everyone around him being a selfish douchebag. That wasn’t fair, and while it would’ve been more than understandable for Landon to dig in his heels and make a scene while everyone in his life betrayed him, he’d chosen something new, gotten clear of the fallout, done the best he could for himself.
It was admirable of him, and too many of us just stewed in all our anger and disappointments without changing anything.
Hell, I’d had my rough periods too.
“Is it okay if I’m messy too?” I asked.
His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“Just that you shared your past, and I don’t want to keep you in the dark on mine. Not, like, I was that much of an asshat or anything. At least, I don’t think I was? Lucas might say different, but?—”
Landon shook his head. “I don’t think he would. You two seem really close.”
I couldn’t help smiling. “We are. But he’s been worried about me, I guess.” I’d given him plenty of reason to worry, and as much as I didn’t want to give Landon the same, the last thing I wanted was to ask honesty of him and repay him by hiding my own struggles. “The lead singer of our band? The one who died? We were dating when he got sick.”
“Oh.” Landon’s eyes turned downcast, and he fiddled with his cup some more. “I’m so sorry.”
“Me too.” Landon could shut down. This could be too much for him. I hoped it wasn’t, but the only way to find out was to tell him the whole of it. “It was three years ago, and he’s really important to me. We founded the band together, and—I don’t know. My life wouldn’t be what it is today without Henry in it. But I think—I think that having someone important in your life doesn’t mean they have to be the only one to ever touch your heart. I haven’t really had a serious relationship since he passed, so I just—I guess I wanted to be upfront with you about all this. I like you. I want to get to know you more. And—well, if that’s too much for you right now, I get it. I know Lucas likes you a lot and you’re just finding your footing here, so I don’t want to mess anything up for you, but I do want to be honest. Lucas could tell that I liked you from the start?—”
He blinked at me. “You did?”
Okay, so right then, I wanted to punch his ex’s face in for the doubt that clouded Landon’s expression.
But that frustration wasn’t for Landon. For him, I softened my smile. “Yeah. And it’s been a while since I felt that spark, so Lucas, he’s—maybe been overly eager to shove you into my space.”
“Notoverlyeager.”
I stretched out my arm across the table, just shy of his hand. When he closed the distance and slipped his fingers between mine, the tension in my shoulders eased.
