“Marina.”
“No!” She slung her arm at him, rejecting his pity. “I thought as long as I had her, it was enough. No matter what, her love was all I needed.” Tears gushed down her cheeks and dripped from her chin. She shook her head, pressing a hand into her abdomen. The debris of shattered rock on the floor around her feet blurred, and her breath left in loud gusts through her mouth. “I am such a fucking fool.”
You are the monster I made.
A guttural scream tore out of her, purging her indignant ardor. The earsplitting sound ruptured the stone ornaments inthe cavern. Their broken pieces rained across the earthy ground as a void floated up from her feet and hugged her, protecting her from the sharp debris.
In her darkness, there was reprieve. Within its safety, she folded in on herself and succumbed to her forceful cries.
The worst part of it all was how she’d let Father down, over and over again—thinking less of him, of Naia and Finnian; claiming his wisdom to be ignorance; believing him to be inferior for remaining silent in the face of Mira.
She understood the truth now. Choosing to see Vale as a miserable, worthless father convinced her that she wasn’t missing out on anything he had to offer.
She hung her head and wept.
Acacius’s broad arm slipped around her neck from behind and pulled her back into the warm hearth of his chest.
“You are many infuriating things, Rina, but a fool is not one of them.” The sorrow in his voice traveled through her and fused with her own. In it, she did not feel so alone.
There was solace in his hold, a security she did not realize she’d craved until the urge to lean into him lulled her bones.
Her head fell back against his shoulder. Tears traveled down her temples and into her hairline, catching in her ears.
She stared up at the jagged ceiling of the cavern through the misty blur, watching stalactites reemerge from the stone like water freezing in the winter wind.
Her chin quivered as she said, “I just wanted to be loved.”
Acacius tightened his arm around her chest, his fingers curling around the top of her arm. She could feel the stride of his heartbeat, powerful against her shoulder blades.
“True foolishness is allowing a goddess to take advantage of you, knowing very well that she does not truly love you in return.” His cheek met the side of her head. “I learned to live with the pain, because it was the closest that I’d ever come toaffection—” His voice cracked, and tears dripped in the hollow of her neck, a silent stream catching like rainwater in her clavicles.
Marina wrapped her fingers around the forearm that lay over her chest. It was the only small form of comfort she could offer.
Together, they both cried, their snivels echoing lightly.
Time passed, though Marina was unsure how much—just that the snot on her skin had crusted, and the muscles in her face ached from the strain.
She brought her hand up and wiped her nose.
Acacius’s damp lips brushed over her jaw.
A spark fluttered low in her belly, stirring a part of her that was starved to feel anything other than the rot in her chest.
She angled her head closer to his mouth, suddenly aware of his breath in her ear.
Her pulse quickened, and gooseflesh fluttered across her nape as she arched her spine, pressing the back of her hips against him. Her body chased the electric sensation, parched and dying to feel anythingthat did not bring her pain.
Acacius’s fingers dusted over her neck and loosely gripped under her chin, propping her head up. He forced his thumb against her flickering, pulsing skin. “What are you thinking?”
Perhaps, even if just for a passing moment, they could staunch one another’s wounds.
“That I wish to feel nothing, because even nothing is better than this,” she said.
Acacius sunk his fingertips into the sides of her throat. Enough to provide a dull sting, but light enough she could still breathe.
A fierce heat dripped between her thighs. The pleasureful tide washed over her grief and heavy mind. She let it carry her away as he moved his hand down her torso, his palm dragging in between her breasts, over her abdomen, and to the side of her waist, finding purchase on her hip.
He guided her around to face him. “Then let us feel nothing together, Rina.”
