When he’d asked before, she’d told him that she no longer wished to rely on them to fight her wars. After learning about her traumatic experience with blood, it made sense that she wanted to overcome her aversion to it by dirtying her own hands.
However, now he didn’t quite buy that to be the only reason. As a creator of his own monsters, he saw them as an extension of himself, of his power, not as a weakness where they did his bidding.
Marina peered out at the lapping swarm of moths entering and exiting through the windows. “They were created out of a place of anger and desperation, manifesting from my darkest desires of revenge.”
“And you are afraid they will act on those innately dark desires?” As someone who regularly fought unhinged urges and deep emotions, he understood what she meant.
“I do not trust myself.”
Acacius lightly tugged on the end of her braid, guiding her head back. She looked at him from beneath her lashes. “My Olethros formed from my need for mayhem, but make no mistake in believing that is what holds power over them.” He wrapped his arm around her, settling his palm on her chest. “The will of our hearts is what drives our monsters, Rina.”
She soaked in his words, flitting her eyes over his face. The same way she had way back during Evander’s punishment.
“Thank you for going along with the Blood Heretics today,” she murmured.
Acacius’s stomach fluttered, and his cheeks kindled, touched by her gratitude. “I promised that I was on your side.”
“Myside?” The corners of her lips lifted to the teasing lilt in her voice. “Does that exclude everyone else?”
“Yourside.” He confirmed, returning the smile. “To hell with the rest of them.”
She lifted her hands up and slid her fingers into his hair, running her nails over his scalp. “I did enjoy watching you exercise restraint.”
He shook his head, grinning at the sound of her amusement as he lowered his lips to kiss her.
Come tomorrow, they would part ways, and just the thought of spending minutes away from her weighed on him.
Marina had become an axis in his daily life, a gravity that took up the majority of his mind. And, for the first time in thelong days of his immortal life, he daydreamed about his future—waking in bed with her snugly at his side, forging her shelves of jewelry, filling his empty kitchen with her favorite wines and the darkest chocolate, creating space in his closet for her dresses, drawing pleasure from her on every isle of Tavora.
I love her.
The realization caught his breath, and he pulled away.
She fluttered her eyes open, and he swam in her obsidian gaze.
Could she ever feel the same?
His fears and insecurities of unrequited love still lingered within him. This time, he wouldn’t confess his feelings first. Not without an assurance that it wouldn’t end with him in segmented, small remnants.
He stroked his thumb up the curvature of her throat to the tip of her chin before brushing the white strand of hair from her face. “Have you ever been in love before?”
“No.” She didn’t have to think about it. “I do not love so easily.”
Acacius drew circles on the side of her neck with his thumb. “Do you think you could? I mean, ever fall in love?”
With me.
He felt the muscles in her back stiffen as she sat up in between his legs and turned to him. The cerise water lapped over her breasts as she stared down, the corners of her mouth tugging.
“I am not sure if I believe in an everlasting love. One that does not evolve into betrayal or deceit or heartbreak.”
He detected the trepidation in her words. After Mira, and Vale, and now Soren, Marina had every right to feel her hesitation.
“You have been let down by those you love all your life, Rina.” He lifted her chin to meet his eyes. “But I will never be one of them.”
She folded her arms over her chest as if to hide herself, unwilling to connect with his gaze. “Can we continue what we are doing and not suppress it with a name?”
Her request sank through him, dejection bruising his heart.
