Naia clasped ahold of his wrist, her chin quivering. “I promise,” she squeaked out.
Father wiped away her falling tears and kissed her on her forehead.
He gently slid his wrist out of her hold and rotated towards his son.
Finnian’s racing heart palpitated, and he crossed his arms, looking away. “Don’t.” The word came out sharp.
“Finny.”
A lump swelled in his throat.
He stared down, the long ends of wisteria grazing the ground. “I will never see you again.”
“You will.”
Lies.
Heat flared up his neck and behind his eyes. He snapped his head up at Father. “No, I won’t.” He slapped his hand on his chest. “I am immortal.”
Father placed his hand over the back of Finnian’s. His tender touch reached through Finnian’s stubborn will and straight down into his soul. “Wherever you go, I am with you.Always.”
Finnian’s eyes burned. “In my heart, in my thoughts, it’s hardly enough.” A ragged, broken sound punctuated his words. He inhaled. “You and I will be parted for eternity, and I will carry our love with mealone.”
“Finnian.” Cassian frowned at his side.
Naia’s fingertips brushed his arm. “Finny?—”
“No.” Finnian ripped his hand away. Nerves spasmed through his system and caught in his stomach. He staggered back from them. “I?—”
A quivering in his bones felt like static trapped in his skin.
Pressure constricted his chest.
He pushed the heel of his hand against his sternum as his lungs wheezed to grab onto air.
He couldn’t let go. Not yet. He needed to fix this. A spell. He could use a spell. Keep him here forever and?—
Cassian grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him forward. Their chests collided as Cassian’s long arms strapped around him.
“Finny,” he whispered.
Finnian dug his face into Cassian’s shoulder to muffle his own sob.
“I can’t—” he hyperventilated. “I can’t say goodbye.”
“You don’t have to,” Cassian murmured, holding him snug with a hand on the back of his head, the other around his waist. “Death is much more than a collection of endings. Will you allow me to prove this to you?”
Finnian curled and uncurled his fingers at his sides. His limbs felt heavy, numbing. “I fear it won’t make a difference.”
A part of him knew Cassian was right. Life was far too complex for death to be so plainly bleak. But on the other hand, no matter how necessary death was, Finnian could not bring himself to comprehend it. Eternity was all he knew. No ends, no separation. He couldn’t make sense of the ephemeral.
And no amount of explaining would change the fact that Father’s time was up. Death was cruel that way. It did not give warning. It blew in when it so desired and left devastation proudly in its path, uncaring of those caught in its wake.
“You do not have to understand it,” Cassian said. “You just have to find a way to make peace with it.”
Trust him.Like you always have.
Back when they were enemies and Cassian first told him death was not a terrible thing, Finnian had despised how easily he’d believed him. He had refused to acknowledge the twinge in his chest each time he thought about the possibility. Though, he couldn’t help but do so.
