The longer Acacius went without replying, the more Cassian’s pulse jumped in fear.
Cassian shook his brother. “What is it? Tell me!”
Acacius lifted his head, brow crumbling in a dreadfully devastating way that filled Cassian’s stomach with nausea.
He held his brother’s eyes, desperately trying to decipher the source of their angst. Though, deep down, he knew.
“I came here to warn you,” Acacius said. “Ruelle is about to begin the process of unraveling yours and Finnian’s threads of Fate.”
The breath died in Cassian’s lungs.
What did you expect?
Five years seemed too short in the grand scheme of their immortality. Not now.Not yet.He refused to believe it.
“No.” He tightened his hold on Acacius’s shirt.
“You cannot resist this.”
Cassian shook his head. “Even if it comes to pass, whatever she throws at us, it will not make a difference. We will not let go of one another.”
Acacius’s eyes fell shut. “Brother, I know you. You will loathe yourself when mortals scorn Finnian for his necromancy and deities raid his city, when it is nothing but rubble and the lives of those he loves are underneath its ruin. When all he adores has been destroyed and there is nothing left but you. You will blame yourself, and, with time, he will come to loathe you. Just as Saoirse did. Walk away from him, so Ruelle does not have a way to meddle.”
The reality split like steel through his chest.
His mind chased every which way, all the possibilities Ruelle could inflict, their outcomes, and how—if—he could prevent such tragedies.
Once again, Cassian was at a loss.
It was just as he’d been back then with Saoirse, with no choice but to watch as her love for him withered. He’d nearly lost all sense and cursed Ruelle out of anger, unable to prove to the Council she’d meddled in the fates surrounding Saoirse’s.
He forced his curled fingers to let go of Acacius’s shirt and backed away. His wide eyes set on the large window behind Acacius, watching the dawn’s rose-gold light slowly seep into the room.
Acacius was right. He couldn’t do it—stand by and watch Ruelle take everything away from Finnian, at the cost of being with him.
A blaring white noise invaded his ears, and a rush of disorientation spun his head. He took a step back, and another. There was an unrelenting pain aching in his heart.
He’d been naïve with Saoirse, to believe his feelings for her had been love. Perhaps to some degree, but not like this—not attached to his soul. An extension of himself. A love rooted so deeply, the thought of losing it sent Cassian into a paralyzing panic.
He could imagine the tedious road stretching out before him—a path filled with loneliness and endless despair. How could he ever continue on without Finnian?
Acacius gripped him by the shoulders. “Brother. Look at me.”
Cassian flinched at the sudden touch.
His eyes flitted onto Acacius, his tongue lead-soaked and his face prickling with numbness. “I cannot give Ruelle what she wants.” He brought a shaky hand up into his hair, a scream clawing up his throat. “I cannot give her what she wants!”
“I know!” Acacius squeezed both of his shoulders. “She will give up on you in time. I promise. Once she releases her obsession to seek revenge, she will fall into my love. It will heal all her wounds, and you will be free to love him again. I will make sure of it.”
Hopeful words of ignorance, unwilling to believe the truth. It was all a lie. Ruelle would never love him, just as she would never get over the belief that Cassian had taken her happiness away from her.
“You must give it time, Cassius.”
His heartbeat slurred as he dropped his hand back down to his side. “What am I to do? I cannot let go of him.”
“You have no other choice.” Acacius gave his shoulder a final squeeze before retracting his hand. “I can buy you one more hour with him. Go say your goodbye.”
He thoughtof Finnian and the detrimental feeling he’d described when he watched a person succumb to their death. The separation of breath, of light in their eyes. The end. The goodbye. For whatever reason, he could not understand. What was the purpose of life when it led to death?
