How was he supposed to tell Finnian of his plan to curse Naia? Not once, but twice? Chain her to Kaimana and then take her child. Finnian loved his sister dearly and would put her happiness over his own. And if Cassian had to choose between the two, he wouldalwayschoose Finnian.
No matter how grim the road would be, Cassian would possess the Himura demigod blood and inject Ruelle’s heart with it.
His jaws pulsed, and he lowered his hand to his lap. His stomach soured with the secret burning on his tongue. “I will do everything in my power to grant it to you.”
A moment of silence passed between them.
“You once told me long ago how you were tired of life.” Finnian’s eyes pressed with intensity into his, touching the deepest parts of him. “Is that still the case?”
Cassian recalled the moment he referred to. In Augustus, on the bank of the stream, sitting next to him while he twirled a moonflower in between his fingers. It was the first time in a long while he’d felt a semblance of contentment.
He reached over and lightly squeezed Finnian’s hand. “Life is never tiring when I am with you.”
Finnian held his eyes for a moment longer, pleased by his answer, before he straightened and looked out past the entrance of the iron gates towards the rows of lemon trees.
“You really do enjoy the taste of lemon.” A lightness fell back into his tone.
Cassian rested his arm along the back of the bench, enjoying the tickle of Finnian’s strands. “It is nostalgic. Iliana used to squeeze the fruit and garnish the beverage with mint during hot summer days when Acacius and I were children.”
“During your mortal days?”
“Yes. Our mother died shortly after Acacius was born, so Iliana filled that motherly role for us.”
Finnian rotated his head and Cassian noted the subtle interest in his expression. “Do you ever see her? Your mother, I mean.”
“She chose to move on to the Paradise of Rest. A place souls can reside peacefully and?—”
“Rest?” Finnian teased.
Cassian rolled his eyes, amused. “I see her every once in a while, but only when she calls for me. I try to avoid disturbing those in their eternal peace.”
“It is nice.” Finnian stared out at nothing in particular, a frown pulling the corners of his mouth. “That you can see her whenever you desire.”
Cassian sensed the anguish drowning him. He saw it in his eyes when he spoke of Vale. Each time he had told Cassiana story of his childhood with his father and Naia. His voice lowered almost into a whisper, and he always averted his gaze.
“If you wish to see him?—”
“I don’t wish to.”
“But if you did, all you need to do is call out his name.”
Finnian turned his head towards him with a touch of bemusement. “Simply call out his name?”
Cassian shifted in his seat, running his tongue over the back of his teeth. He rarely said the next part aloud. “Vale is in Moros, yes, but I do not confine him to his prison. He is wise and knows if he were to try to escape, he would not benefit from it. From time to time, when Acacius is not in the Land, he will visit Nathaira in her meadow, but he rarely does so. The Council believes he is wasting away in an illusion of eternal thirst.”
“If I call for him in your Land, he will come to me?” Finnian asked, dubiously, brow knitted. “His name alone, or can I call him byfather?”
A small smile formed on Cassian’s lips. He loved how thorough his Little Nightmare was. “Either. Vale would recognize one of his children by their breath alone.”
Finnian nodded slowly in agreement, eyes gleaming and drifting away from Cassian. He leaned over and propped his elbows on his knees, running a hand over his face and gripping at his chin. “I suppose he would.”
“Your father would love to see you?—”
“Show me your Land.” Finnian abruptly stood and looked down at Cassian. The trace of his frown, the moisture pricking at his eyes, the sadness pulling at his features, all of it was gone.
The belief that his father would be disappointed in him was a burden he would continue to carry. Cassian could tell him hundreds of times how Vale didn’t feel that way at all, but those were words Finnian needed to hear directly from his father.
The fact was, he was there, showing interest in Cassian’s Land, and that was more than enough. Death was something he vehemently disagreed with, and yet, he’d come, despite the discomfort it brought. Cassian would take the opportunity to show him around, hoping to change his perception of death—even if just by a little.
