“Cass-i-us.” Finnian said each syllable slowly, like balancing a precious gemstone on his tongue.
The notes of it sent pulses through Cassian’s stomach. “I like the way it sounds on your lips.”
“You must trust me to reveal something so personal.”
Cassian held his eyes for a long moment. His adoration for Finnian filled every crevice of his soul, like magma solidifying in a stone’s cracks. The stronger his adoration grew, the more he was plagued by haunting images of what their future could become.
“You are someone who cares deeply for those close to your heart. I do not question your character, Finnian. Never have. I am enamored by you. Every day. But I fear my desire for you will only hurt you.”
That infuriating boldness sparked to life in his gaze and his expression pinched. “If it is your enemies you fear, they do not stand a chance.”
“Long ago, Ruelle and I had a disagreement. Since, she has longed to see me happy just to take her revenge.”
At the mention of the High Goddess, Finnian’s jaw set. “How much control does she have over your Fate?”
“Ruelle weaves the threads of mortals’ Fates from the moment they enter the womb. She can send them to riches, or she can send them to ruin. However, she has less power over us deities, though she can still see the course of our threads. That alone gives her great power over our lives. She will use you to get to me, Finnian. If that frightens you, I understand. I can leave now and never?—”
“Whatever she throws at us, we will face.Together.” Finnian said, full of resolve. “I am not afraid of Ruelle.”
Together.
A guttural instinct rose in Cassian, sharp and fierce. No matter how steep, how brutal the path became, he would do everything in his power to protect Finnian. Though, the selfless part of him knew the best way to protect Finnian was to leavehim be. Keep their individual threads from entangling further than they already had.
“I do not think you understand. I tried to forget about you, to stay away from you. I’ve walked this long purposely avoiding growing close to another, knowing it was what Ruelle waited for.”
Finnian lay on his side, pulling his body flush against Cassian. His brow wrinkled in disapproval. “That is no way to live.”
Cassian sighed, tucking Finnian’s wavy strands behind his ear to ensure he could hear, exposing the scar on the base of his jaw. “She’s done it before.”
“To one of your prior lovers?”
“Saoirse, the High Goddess of Light. We were together for nearly a decade before Ruelle intervened.” Cassian brushed his thumb over the harsh patch of skin under Finnian’s earlobe. Movement to avoid the twisting in his gut. “She manipulated the fates of those who crossed with Saoirse’s, making her life a perpetual existence of hellish bad luck. Mortals banded together and raided her temples, her followers fell ill to disease, and a mage murdered her demigod daughter.”
Cassian paused, the pad of his thumb following the scar down Finnian’s jawline.
Finnian stared at him with an unnerving intensity.
He wasn’t sure if it was Finnian coming to terms with the severity of the situation, or if it was merely because he spoke of a past lover.
Cassian grazed the back of his fingers up the scar to Finnian’s ear. “Eventually, Saoirse could no longer handle the torment, and we went our separate ways. Ruelle continued to weave obstacles in between us to keep our threads from intertwining again.”
Finnian remained quiet, eyes sharp and intently tracking Cassian’s face.
Cassian lowered his hand and met Finnian’s eyes, a silent plea to share his thoughts.
“Do you still long for her?” he asked.
Buttery warmth spread throughout Cassian’s chest, flattered by the rigid jealousy in Finnian’s tone.
A small smile pulled at his lips. “I do not. It is why Ruelle no longer meddles in affairs between us. They hold no leverage. The last I saw of Saoirse was a year ago during my niece’s birthday celebration, and I can assure you there were no lingering feelings.”
Finnian let out a terse breath through his nose, bringing his hand up to hold the side of Cassian’s face. “Sounds like Saoirse did not care for you the way I do.”
“It is easy for you to say such things, but what of your city, your apprentices, your followers, your title? Ruelle could ruin it all?—”
Finnian pulled him into a kiss.
His lips spread, inviting in and caressing Finnian’s tongue. The earthy, sweet taste of licorice, Finnian’s favorite snack, filled his mouth. His thoughts, his worries, they snuffed out like a candle’s flame.
