Her eyes met his and he saw something there that he couldn’t quite decipher. “It sounds like a great deal. Do you know how many companies would kill for a show to highlight their projects? It will up the value of your products by a quarter.”
“What if I say it’s not a great idea, at least not for me?”
“What would be a great idea for you?”
“I don’t know, but after hearing Miles, it changed something. Miles is super happy about it. Plus, I’d get to work with him more. I love where our relationship is going and I don’t want to go back to being the uncle he only sees on holidays,” he said. “My brother wants this. My agent wants this. Miles obviously wants this.”
She looked at him for a long moment. “But what do you want?”
He was stunned. No one had ever asked him that except his dad. Maybe because of the rusty feelings that question brought up, his mind went blank. He was still trying to figure out who he was without hockey, how the hell was he supposed to know what he wanted?
The one thing he was sure of? It wasn’t another show in Vegas.
“I don’t even know. No one’s ever asked me that before.”
“Well then, you might want to start thinking about it before you agree to the next few years of your life. Because it would be awful to have to put your happy on pause.”
“I know what that feels like and I never want to feel that way again.”
She looked at him cryptically. “Are you saying you’re happy here, refurbishing this house with me?”
“You make me more than happy. You make me smile, you make me laugh, you challenge me. And for a guy who doesn’t do emotions, you light me up inside.”
“But my life is just as much in front of the camera as yours would be if you do what your brother is offering.”
“What you do in front of the camera is completely different.” Decker rubbed his temples, to ward off the residual throbbing.
“Do you want to talk about what brought on the panic attack?”
“Not really, but my therapist would probably tell me I should.” He didn’t mention his therapist as of late was Miles. “It’s a great opportunity. I’d be stupid to pass it up, right?”
“I don’t know. I’ve passed on slam dunk projects because the timing wasn’t right, or they weren’t for me.”
“Really?” That was a surprise to him. Then again it shouldn’t be. The stuck-up, fame-hungry girl he’d made her out to be had been all in his mind. Poppy renovated houses for the stories and the pure pleasure of saving homes that would otherwise be torn down.
“A project is only successful if your heart is in it for the right reason. I know what Brian and Miles and Asher want. And I already know what Jack will say. But that’s a shame because your opinion is just as valid as theirs. Especially since a lot of the pressure to succeed will be resting on your name.”
And she got it. The thing that his brother, nephew, agent,and director refused to acknowledge. And a woman who’d known him a few weeks had identified it in a matter of minutes.
“I guess I imagined Brian and I working a midsized company here in LA like my dad, doing local construction and slowly growing the company. Not going balls to the wall and having the entire thing, successes or failures, being broadcast for the world to see.”
He’d done that before and failed epically. A year later, he was still the talk of the sports community.
“Did you tell Brian that?”
“Didn’t have time. Between his excitement, his dreams, and then his disappointment over my lack of enthusiasm, there didn’t seem a place for my feelings. Plus, he’s already started meeting with architects and the planning commission.” Under his voice he mumbled, “For a guy who seemed to have hated my fame a month ago, he sure seems to like it now.”
“Is that what really burns? Him wanting to use your name like everyone else?”
Decker nodded. “That’s a part of it. I get being taken advantage of by others. But by my loved ones? I didn’t see it coming.”
She rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry you have to go through this. I’d never use someone for their fame or to get ahead.”
“I believe you.”
She looked up at him with those fathomless eyes and suddenly the air between them changed. It wasn’t the heat and lust from the other night. This felt safe and comfortable, like it had always been there, but he just hadn’t known how to tap into it—until her.
There was a lot of “until her” he was starting to realize.
