Now, though, he’d tasted what it was like to have a partner. Tyler by his side at the Christmas party, Rowan trusting him enough to reach for his hand–it was the future Jamie had always wanted for himself.
He wanted that moment, out there on the ice–thatfamilymoment, with Tyler and Rowan by his side, proudly wearing his name.
He just couldn’t figure out how to have thatandshield Tyler and Rowan from the harsh judgement of the world.
“For what it’s worth, that man seems to care about you.”
Jamie buried his head in his hands, making no effort to hold back a frustrated groan.
“Are you okay?”
Jamie looked at Sharon, who was watching him helplessly. He was past the point of pretending he wasn’t upset. He coughed to try to ease the tightness in his throat but what came out was a wet, wretched noise that sounded like he was crumbling from the inside out. “No, I’m not.”
She looked even more uncomfortable. “Is there…Can I do anything for you?”
“No.” To his horror, Jamie felt his eyes burn with unshed tears. He rubbed his eyes in a furtive attempt to stop the tears before they started.
Of course, it didn’t work.
Sharon fidgeted behind her desk. “I have cookies?”
Jamie sniffed, still rubbing at his eyes.Get your shit together, Jamie. “What kind?”
She opened a drawer. “Chocolate chip or Vanilla Wafers.”
“Vanilla, please.” He paused. “If you’re offering, that is.”
She frowned at him. “Will cookies help you stop crying?”
Jamie laughed, which unleashed another wave of tears down his cheeks. “Cookies will help.”
CHAPTER 22
TYLER
WE’RE NOT ALONE IN THIS
“Let it out, kiddo,” Tyler murmured, rubbing Rowan’s sweat-soaked back as he unloaded the contents of his stomach into the toilet.
Rowan whimpered. “Papa, it hurts.”
Tyler hated it when Rowan was sick. He hated watching his kid suffer, knowing there was nothing he could do but sit by Rowan’s side as he worked his way through it. Tyler had tried to give him some ginger tea, but it had come right back up.
He wiped Rowan’s mouth with a wet cloth before he climbed back into Tyler’s lap, curling up into a tight ball, crying softly against Tyler’s chest. They’d been camped out on the floor of the bathroom for the past few hours, alternating between reading books and throwing up.
Dotty and Sandra had wanted to stay and help, but they’d already committed to driving to the Twin Cities to be with Dotty’s mother for New Year’s before coming back to Madison for the Winter Classic.
He and Rowan were in it alone.
But it wasn’t really just the two of them. Not anymore.
They had Jamie.
Tyler remembered Jamie mentioning he had practice that afternoon,followed by a team-only event in the evening, and another practice at the outdoor rink tomorrow, and then…Tyler couldn’t remember what else Jamie had on his schedule, only that almost every hour of the days leading up to the Winter Classic game was full.
This was Jamie’s life. Hockey defined Jamie–it was as much a part of him as fatherhood was to Tyler. From what Jamie had told him, his previous partners hadn’t been able to reconcile with the fact that Jamie always put his team first. They had wanted him to put them first, always wantingmore–more time, more attention. More.
Tyler wanted to be different. He didn’t want more than Jamie was able to give.
