Once they were sitting, Layla’s expression turned conspiratorial. She wore her hair up in a bun, and a red and white knit sweater hung off of one of her shoulders. “So. You and Sully.” She held up her hand, her expression apologetic. “Sorry, you don’t have to tell me anything. I’m just excited. He’s always been so closed off about dating, especially during the season.”
Tyler pressed his lips together, considering what he wanted to share. What they had was new, wasn’t it? Was there a reason to keep it a secret?
More importantly, would Jamie mind him talking about their relationship?
But then he remembered how Jamie had introduced him to his teammates, how he hadn’t hesitated when he’d said:This is Tyler, my boyfriend, and his son, Rowan.
He also remembered the picture Jamie had put up of the two of them on his social media, with Tyler in his lap, kissing his nose. The caption below, which had said: “Life, lately”, followed by a black heart emoji.
“We’re going to try,” Tyler said, unable to keep himself from smiling.
Layla let out a loud whoop, raising her hands above her head. When half the people in the room turned to look at them, she waved them off with a loud, “None of your business!” She turned back toward Tyler with a smile. “How did it happen?”
“Well, we sort of kept running into each other, and he kept showing up and doing thoughtful things. Once we started saying what we wanted out loud, it didn’t take us too long to realize we might be a good fit.” He ducked his head. “Or, it didn’t take Jamie long. It took me a while. I just…” Tyler sighed, looking at Layla and hoping she’d understand. “I didn’t think I had time for someone else.”
“I get it. When there’s a kid in your life, it’s easy to put your needs on the back-burner. Their needs are immediate, while we can survive for a while without much more than an occasional meal and a few hours of sleep. But eventually, everyone needs somebody. Maybe not romantically, maybe not even physically, but it’s okay to need people.”
Tyler nodded. “I get that. Doesn’t mean I like it, but I get it.”
They both laughed, and Tyler realized Layla reallydidget it. It was such a relief to not have to explain himself, to not have to try to put into words what it was like to feel torn in two, suspended between whatyouwant and what is best for your kid.
“For what it’s worth,” Layla said, “Sully loves kids. He’s always been like an uncle to ours. That man has so much lovebottled up inside of him. He can be tightly wound, but I think he’s just been waiting for the right person to stick with him. And when they do, I think he’s going to love the hell out of them.”
Tyler smiled fondly, trying to quiet the little kernel of fear in his chest. It was too easy to allow himself to imagine that he could be the one to stick with Jamie, the one who wouldn’t leave. The one who understood how much of his heart belonged to hockey, and who could accept what remained.
“I hope we’re enough for him.” The admission slipped out.
Layla shook her head. “None of that shit,” she said, looking Tyler in the eye. “Anyone would be lucky to have you and Rowan in their life. Sully wouldn’t be dating you if he wasn’t invested. That man doesn’t do spontaneous things. So, if Sully says he’s in, he’s in.”
Tyler felt himself relax. “Thanks,” he said, and then turned in his seat to check on the kids. “Shit. Rowan’s gotta pee.”
Layla followed his gaze and burst into laughter. “Oh, yep. That’s a pee dance if I’ve ever seen one.”
As the afternoon faded into evening, Tyler felt himself getting more and more tired. Jamie found him sitting on the floor with Rowan curled up on his lap, listening to Arturi Alexeyev, one of the Russian players, telling a group of kids the story of Ded Moroz, a character from Russian folklore. Tyler had completely lost the plot of the story, but Rowan and the rest of the kids were totally captivated.
Jamie’s arms wrapped around him, and Tyler felt the tickle of his mustache against his cheek as Jamie kissed him. “Wanted to let you know it’s almost seven,” Jamie whispered. “I would love to have you guys for a sleepover, but this crew will be here for a while.”
Tyler looked up at him. Jamie’s cheeks were flushed, and his hair had escaped the swept-back style he’d tamed it into after their earlier shower.
“Thank you,” Tyler whispered back.
It was a “thank you” for checking the time, for alwaysthinking of Rowan. It was a “thank you” for how patient he had been while Tyler worked up the courage to sayyesto Jamie. It was a “thank you” for everything.
Jamie hummed, and pressed a chaste kiss to Tyler’s lips. He settled in beside them as Arturi finished the story, and then helped Tyler gather up their things. Tyler tugged on his boots and coat before kneeling down and helping a sleepy, yawning Rowan into his jacket.
“Thanks for coming to my house, buddy,” Jamie said to Rowan. “You’re welcome to come over any time, got it?”
Rowan nodded. “You’re my most favorite best friend.”
Jamie’s eyes went soft. Tyler’s heart flopped in his chest.
Jamie looked down at Tyler, and there wasso muchthere in his eyes, like he knew what it meant when a kid chose you. When you were granted an important place in their world.
When a kid decided you weretheirs.
“Thanks, Rowan,” Jamie said, opening his arms. “Hug?”
Rowan rushed into his embrace, and Tyler put a hand over his mouth. His eyes burned, but he blinked before any tears could escape.
