No response.
Had he misunderstood what Jamie meant? Oh god, what if he’d just proclaimed interest in someone who was just trying to be nice to a struggling single dad?
Rowan had fallen asleep a few minutes ago. Tyler locked his phone, pulled off the blanket, and carefully tip-toed to the door. He opened and closed it carefully, and then ducked into his room, grabbing the baby monitor from the milk crate he used as a bedside table.
Jamie was sitting there on the couch, his expression unreadable as Tyler came to a stop in front of him.
Before he could second guess himself, Tyler grabbed a throw pillow and threw it at Jamie’s face.
The pillow fell onto Jamie’s lap. He looked up at Tyler, panic and confusion on his face. “What did I do?”
“You didn’t respond!” Tyler huffed out a breath, tucking some of his hair behind his ears. “I saidIt’s not just youand then you didn’t respond!”
Jamie’s shoulders dropped. “Sorry,” he said. “I just wanted to look you in the eye while we had this conversation.”
Tyler sighed, flopping down on the other end of the couch. He kicked his legs up, wishing he’d changed out of his jeans, but grateful for the comfort of Jamie’s soft sweatshirt. “Okay, then. I’m here now.”
Jamie crossed his arms over his chest, watching Tyler with a careful attention that made his stomach flip. “I didn’t know if you were…You know.” Tyler’s expression must have conveyed his confusion. “If you were queer,” Jamie clarified.
“Bi,” Tyler offered, quietly.
“That’s good,” Jamie said, running his tongue over his lower lip. Tyler stared at the movement, and wished…He wished a lot of fucking things. “So, what should we do about this?” Jamie asked.
“I don’t know,” Tyler answered honestly.
“What do youwantto do about this?”
Tyler let out a disbelieving laugh.What a ridiculous question. “I know exactly what I would have done if this was happening three years ago. But now? I don’t know how to do something likethis–” he gestured between them “–while doingthat.” He pointed down the hall, the helplessness of the situation catching up with him. “I just don’t have the time or space for someone else.”
A part of him had expected Jamie to argue, but the man just nodded, his expression kind, understanding. “I have hockey,” he murmured. “You have Rowan.”
“Exactly.”
Jamie sighed. “Okay, then.”
No. Wait. Don’t give up on me so easily, Jamie. I know I can be an asshole, but please, fucking please fight for this.
“Want to pretend?”
Jamie’s thick blonde brows knit together. “Pretend what?”
Tyler’s fingers fiddled with the curled seam of the sweatshirt, anything to avoid looking right at Jamie. “That things are different,” he said softly. “Just for tonight?”
“No.”
Tyler felt his body stiffen, and his head snapped up to stare at Jamie.
Jamie held up a hand, leaning toward him and looking right into Tyler’s eyes. “I don’t need to pretend anything is different, Tyler. The way things are is just fine by me. Your life, my life. They’re both full and busy and a bit out of our control. If I was going to kiss you, it would be because, in spite of everything else, I want you. As you are.” He shook his head. “When I kiss you, I want it to be for the two of us. For you, and for me.”
Yes. Please, I want that.
But Tyler had to be realistic. “I don’t have time for–”
“We’ve already covered that, Tyler,” Jamie challenged, voice dropping. Like he wasdaringTyler to go after what he really wanted.
“So, what do we do?”
Jamie studied him. “Maybe the time you don’t have could be a match for the time I don’t have. Maybe we could not have time, together, and it would be okay. Maybe it would work for us.”
