When I realize I’m drooling, I wrench my gaze back to her eyes. They’re crinkled at the corners. I think she’s laughing at me.
“Probably not a good idea,” she says softly, her expression growing serious. “If I did, I’m not sure I could let them go.”
Then don’t!I roar on the inside.Keep them! Be mine!
But on the outside, I nod. “I take it you aren’t interested in co-parenting.”
She busies herself with adding sugar to her glass mug. When she finally raises her head, she’s biting her lip and her eyes are shiny. “I—I wish I could. It’s just not possible. It would disrupt my family…”
We’re your family, too, I want to growl.
By we, I meanme. She’smyfamily. The pups don’t exist yet except in my heart. And if I want them to ever be real, I can’t scare Julia away.
This has to be hard for her. She’s taking a huge risk by even meeting with me, and I’m grateful that she is brave and compassionate enough to do it anyway. I don’t want to meet her with frustrated demands when she’s coming from a place so loving.
So I nod again. “I’ll have the paperwork drawn up for you to relinquish parental rights.”
She lets out a giggle that verges on hysterical. “I can’t believe we’re talking about birth when we don’t even know if I can get pregnant.”
“You can.” My nostrils flare, drinking in her ripe-peach scent. “You don’t need to worry about that. But if you don’t believe me, I made a doctor’s appointment for Tuesday afternoon. Does that work for you?”
She checks her phone, her cheeks flaming. She nods. “I can do Tuesday.”
“That’ll be enough time for you to run a background check on me,” I joke. She returns my smile. “I’ll have a lawyer draw up an agreement to make it clear that I will assume all expenses related to the pregnancy and birth. All expenses for the pups. Anything you need during that time…I’ll cover it.”
Or afterward. Or any time, for the restof our lives.
“My husband will be happy to hear that,” she cracks, although neither of us laugh.
“Can we talk about him?” She gives a wary nod, so I bulldoze on. “Is he good to you? Is he kind? I apologize for asking, but is he…safe?”
“Oh, you mean for the babies? Yes, of course. He’s never laid a hand on me. He’s not that type of man.”
I notice she hasn’t answered me. Not really. But it was a very personal question from someone she doesn’t know at all. I decide to remedy that. “Is there anything you want to know about me that would put your mind at ease as far as our children growing up in my home?”
Her breath catches at the description, but she hides it well behind a sip of her latte. “Of course, I’d love to know more about you and your family. I don’t know a ton about wulver culture yet, although I did some reading last night.”
My ears perk up at that. “Oh yeah, what did you read about?”
She shakes her head and giggles, her deep blush extending from her temples all the way down her neck.
“Ah. Knotting?” I smirk across the table at her.
She rearranges her face into a prim expression despite the lascivious color of her cheeks. “That was just one notable topic among others.”
“Well, I’m a pretty typical wulver.” I let that sink in for a moment, let her imagination run with it before I continue. “Let’s see. You already know I’m a woodcutter. I live up in the foothills in a house I built myself. I go fishing a few times a week. I love to bake for my friends and family. My sire is Scottish, dam’s French-Canadian, but all us pups were born here in Oregon. I have six brothers, five older and one younger, and they’ve all found their mates. All of them have pups already, so ours will have plenty of cousins to play with. We’re a close family.”
“Your parents had seven kids!?” Her eyes widen.
I grin. “Aye, wulvers may be loners at heart, but we have big clans. They’ll be happy to meet you if you are open to it, Julia. Fair warning, they’ll campaign hard on my behalf. You’ll be hearing nothing but the best about me. They might even convince you that I’m worth it.”
I wink at her, but my heart is aching, because I know she’s going to say no. Of course, she doesn’t want to meet my family. She doesn’t even want to meet our pups. I get the feeling she’d rather not even see them when they’re born so she doesn’t get attached. I don’t give her the chance to voice it, though. “Now it’s your turn. I want to be able to tell our pups about their mother.”
“Oh. There’s not a lot to know about me. I’m an only child. My parents are South Korean, but I wasborn here. They split up when I went to college and both moved back to Korea. My dad passed away a few years ago, and my mom lives in Busan. Um, I have an English degree and a master’s in education that I never used because I had babies instead. They’re eighteen and twenty now, off at college, and I really miss them. I love being a mom.” She’s quiet. Then she shakes her head. “I’m sorry. It just hit me that I won’t get to see them grow up.”
By them, she means our pups. There are so many things I want to say and can’t, so I choose my words carefully. “That’s up to you. Nobody will stop you from seeing your children. Or I can send you updates. You get to decide. I told you, I’ll take what I can get. We can structure our agreement any way you want.”
She pulls in a quavery breath, hands balled on the table like she’s about to push back and bolt. “This is a lot, Ian.”
