She turned, catching the wicked curve of his smile as he leaned in. “Surely, you haven’t forgotten the nights we spent in the shadow of the mountain…how you begged.”
Fuck. Rynna’s heart slammed into her ribs as memories she had long buried surged to the surface…his hands gripping her waist, pulling her against the hard planes of his chest, his mouth hot against her skin.
“Fuck off, monster.” She fought to keep herself steady, though her pulse thundered in her ears as she added, “What happened to you, anyway?”
Her eyes lifted, and there it was. For the briefest moment, something like pain flashed across his face. It was quick, almost too quick to catch, but unmistakable. His jaw tightened, and his lips twitched, betraying a wound that had long festered beneath supposed indifference.
A hand rose to brush a stray lock of hair from his face. “I was always a monster.” Then the mask fell back into place. “You just disappeared before the shadows consumed me.”
Guilt swelled like a vice around her ribs as she fought against the weight of the past—the memory of vanishing all those years ago pressing down, threatening to pull her under. She wanted to look away, to shield herself from the emotions piercing her weathered shields, but she couldn’t.
For a moment, Rynna’s hand hovered near her chest as if she could still feel the ghost of his touch. Then, the tremor in her body stilled, and she closed her eyes, focusing on the wind whipping past her face.
“No.” She pushed the past down where it belonged, beneath the surface where it couldn't reach her. “Whatever you became, it’s not the man I knew. You’re just the empty remains of something…else.”
Remember the Ascension. His actions were his own. He’s a monster.Rynna’s eyes fixed on the changing landscape ahead of them, trying to hold on to that thought, even though she knew it wasn’t entirely true. Not anymore.
When she rescued him, she had stripped away all the twisted enhancements that made him more serpent than man, leaving them behind in his captor, Skarn. What remainedwas the Kaelith she had once known, untouched by the horrors he had inflicted upon himself in her absence. Physically, at least, he was the younger version of himself now, the man she’d spent nearly four beautiful years with in the hidden mountain village of the Hearth.
Her fists clenched, knuckles turning white as those unwanted thoughts slithered through her mind.
Nothing can erase everything he did. He killed the last Ember Warden. He ate people and experimented on children. What the fuck is wrong with you!
Self-loathing burned deep. Even allowing the memories to surface made her feel like a terrible person. A despicable friend, teammate…and lover. Why had she freed him? What would Fenn think? Her inhale stuttered, lodged high in her throat, as a new gush of guilt welled up inside her.
How could you do this to Fenn, you stupid, stupid…! He’s the best thing that ever happened to you!
Her hand jerked up, gripping a fistful of her hair and yanking hard. Fenn was already dealing with the fallout of their relationship being exposed—a senior Vessel sleeping with a younger Novice, one under his guidance, no less. Though she was neither an inexperienced Hollow-born nor younger...another lie.
The sting in her scalp barely registered as her fingers flexed, strands of hair slipping free. She could feel herself spiraling, lost in the whirlwind of her own self-recriminations.
The Rules. The Weaving. A tiny, distant voice in the back of her mind tried to break through, but the shame drowned it out.
“Shhhh.” That familiar tenor cut through the storm in a sigh, pulling her back from the edge. “Just rest.”
She blinked, her vision clearing as Kaelith’s words sank in. She was so tired. It had taken all her strength to disable Skarn and pull Kaelith out of him, and then get both him and Thorn out of the secret lab alive without tapping into power she wasn’t yet supposed to touch. She was drained, her body pushed beyond its limits. Only the madness of the situation kept her from collapsing.
Staring blankly at the horizon for a moment, her body quaked with fatigue, before darkness closed around her.
She awoke to starlight, the cool bite of a breeze, and a strong hand gently combing through her hair.
What the hell?She struggled to open her eyes.
When she finally did, she found Kaelith’s dark, inscrutable eyes staring down at her.
“We’re almost there.” Thorn coughed from the other side of the bird. “You might want to sit up.”
She scrambled out of the monster’s lap, no matter how comfortable it had been. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Glaring at him, she pushed her hair back from her face. “What did you do?”
The pale man sighed, rolling his eyes with an exaggerated display of impatience. “You seemed uncomfortable. Twitching and rolling about in your sleep. I was concerned you’d accidentally fling yourself right off the bird.”
“Like you’d care.” Thorn rolled his shoulders, jaw tight, pulling at his bandages.
Kaelith pursed his lips. “She is my witness to the deal we struck. Until the agreement is presented to the Wardens, her death would not be in my best interest.”
“Well, at least that makes sense.” Thorn moved away from them toward the front of the eagle. “You’re incapable of caring for anyone other than yourself.”
“You may be surprised, boy.” The man’s shoulders pulled up toward his ears.
